it's a no brainer...
I cannot read a map; in fact I’m one of those retards who has to turn around until I’m facing the direction I’m supposed to be going on the map…and even then I’m pretty clueless. Street directories leave me totally bewildered…and schematic 3-D diagrams such as the interactive ‘You Are Here/Where Are You Going’ displays in giant shopping malls may as well be written in Chinese characters for all the sense I can make of them.It’s right-brain stuff apparently and I’m just toilet at it; symbols, images, spatial perception, time difference, fantasy, imagination. Yet according to this test I’m doing these are all supposed to be my long suits although personal experience has shown that I can’t do any of them. I can’t read music either, not a single fucking note; I never have and never will. It just looks like rows of barbed wire to me. I can’t complete a Rubik’s Cube and I suck at Tetris.
So, imagine the surprise as I sit here staring at this right-brain/left-brain teaser…
There is an animated figure of a twirling ballerina and she’s going in a clockwise direction as far as I can tell, whereas my two work-colleagues see her turning anti-clockwise. According to them she also changes direction at times but for mine she’s just twirling away, in a clockwise direction, with eternal monotony.
The test indicates I’m heavily right-brain oriented, as opposed to left-brain oriented. If I was a left-brainer that would lend itself towards good math and language skills, knowledge and fact based reality, planning, practicality. But I’m a seriously right-brained person it seems…
Er…WTF ???
I just checked again recently and the dancer is still twirling away relentlessly in a clockwise direction. Meanwhile I have twelve matches here which form five triangles and by moving two of them I am supposed to be able to make three more triangles. I can’t do it but my work-colleagues are making extra triangles fast enough to open a triangle factory, even though I’m the only one here that knows anything more about triangles other than their having three sides. I can name the triangles; isosceles, equilateral, scalene. Give me two sides of a right-angled triangle and I’ll deduce the length of the hypotenuse in my head for you. My work-colleagues would be at their mathematical limits to find the square root of one-hundred with a calculator and three lifelines.
I write a blog; this splendid blog…my work-colleagues are hard-pressed simply to read it…but that cunt ballerina is still just twirling clockwise for me yet she’s performing ‘Swan Motherfucker Lake’ for them.
I’ve even held my watch up against the monitor to double-check that she really is twirling in a clockwise direction; she is. Though apparently she reversed this twice in the last few minutes, according to my work-colleagues, the supposed engineering geniuses who would struggle to assemble two small pieces of wood using one large piece of wood and a saw.
There are several techniques suggested for ‘forcing’ myself to see the ballerina change direction; so far none of them work.
The only difference I’ve noticed so far is that when I open one eye and close the other, then close that eye and re-open the other…the ballerina appears to have very nice tits.
Which may indicate I have no-brain orientation at all…
posted by fingers at
7:00 PM
81 Comments:
I concur, the ballerina in question has the most exquisitely shaped bosom.
The tits are all that really matters. To hell with the math and twirling when you've got a girl with nice tits. All she cares is whether you can buy her a nice shiny diamond.
If this is the ballerina thing I've seen (you might have tried this, but,) if you look at a word or the scroll bar to the side of the internet page and look at her in your peripheral vision you may be able to see her going the other way.
Don't worry, the people who constantly see her going the wrong way are just nongs.
...or no brain.
Oh, you knew somebody had to say that right?!?!
Hey I have to turn the map around and stand the way I'm supposed to go as well. It made for a really long trip crossing three states let me tell you, getting out the car all those times.
she makes me dizzy... o-O
She looks like she's spinning clockwise to me. However, it appears I can make the cunt spin in either direction at my will.
And you're right. She does have nice tits.
Chuck
This ballerina of which you speak, were there libations involved?
Pearl
No need to read maps now we have satellite navigation systems ... you can dirty talk to your female sat nav system if you want
she: "At the next intersection take a left turn."
fingers: "okay I will as long as at the next intersection after that you give me a blowjob."
she: "certainly sir."
unlike you i have too much imagination!
Don't fret about it. Your talents are just more focused, Rain Man.
If I were to look at that ballerina...she would be standing stock steady still, as I only employ the exact middle of my brain.
It just works best for me that way.
I'll be damned if I let anybody TELL me what part of my brain to use. Bastards.
I didn't even see a ballerina.
I hope the incongruity of your brain doesn't affect which hand you have to use....
FFS! When I first looked (http://brainden.com/forum/index.php?/topic/7723-ballerina/) she was going anti-clockwise and it took me 8 minutes of concentration to get the bitch to spin the other way. Now I can't stop her going clockwise. However, as well as having great tits, her nipples are pleasingly pert too. (If you freeze the screen at the exact moment they really are quite pronounced).
US: You know who had great bongos ?? Marine Boy's cartoon girlfriend back in the 70s.
MS: Fuck engagement rings; I've always been a fan of the engagement boat that both parties can enjoy.
GT: Nope, it didn't help. Maybe if I watched her in a mirror that would work.
SK: Someone DID say it, Bone Head. At the top of the post.
Ute: I fucking hate the ballet too.
Chuck: Both directions, eh ?? Well aren't you just a clever, clever cunt then.
Pearl: Are you visiting from the 19th century or something ?? Libations ??
Emmak: I love ignoring my SatNav's advice and hearing her get angrier and angrier every time she has to re-calibrate herself.
xl: Not fretting mate but I'd like to know how this test could be so impossibly wrong about me.
SC: Good girl. I notice you do very well on those excellent FB tests. Well, I did notice until I banned you...:)
BB: Didn't see any ballerina ?? Good stuff. A blind pilot; we need more of those.
Grazor: Welcome to TWG. There's always room for someone who has nothing better to do than spend 8 minutes looking at a pair of CG bongos...
wtf are you talking about? nice tits! you aren't even a can man!
i need to get out of here, but i can't find my way...can you look at this map and help me? oh no. you're a fucking spacker that can't read maps.
hmmm. seems i'm stuck here forever with the twirling ballerina. well in that case-
*bang*
*thud*
the end.
Hi baby. I could dance for you and you can see if I change directions...or you can just look at my tits.
so what else are they testing you with at the hospital? hehehe. I'm kidding baby...you know I love you more than my luggage. But it was close baby...cause I really really love my luggage.
usually leftys use the right side of the brain more so than rightys. But lucky me I'm good with both hands.
I thought I just heard you snicker. But true with that thought too.
my right brained brilliance is...um...wait, I'll think of somthing.
Um...oh yeah, I can tie cherry stems into a knot and untie it afterwards. I can show you if you want.
I have other skills...too.
Ciao sweetie...have a fabulous Wednesday. xxx
Thanks now I am totally freaked out! I watched her go clockwise for a long time thinking something was wrong with me, then I put my head in my hand and tilted my head in some pitiful stance and she turned counter clockwise.
I may never recover.
Now she won't stop. Bitch.
maybe the ballerina just wants someone to make eye contact and ask her why she has to keep dancing without a union approved break while strange men stare at her boobs and comment on her perky nips.
Kitty: Maybe you can chat to the ballerina about your problems until Captain Red Sox gets back from his sabbatical in Vienna.
Spiker: I'd be impressed if you can do that cherry trick with your tongue.
Dani: Have you tried standing on your head ??
Emma: No, I think she likes all the attention...the twirling slut...
maybe, MAYBE you could go fuck youself!
do you need a map to find out where to do that? you utter, utter, UTTER....
fingers baby...ha! yeah, that too. I said I had many skills. :)
I'll show yah...and I'll do it with blind fold, my hands tied behind my back...in my blackest boots...then I'll do that cherry trick with my tongue. hehehe.
have a fab Thursday sweets. xx
I see no ballerina [who don't twirl batons anyway] but I did see Spielberg and Dylan and Van Gogh.
They all said to say hi to Fingers. :(
Okay, I found her- she twirls both ways.
So that little story about your shocking map-reading skills explains how you couldn't find my easiest-house-in-the-world-to-find place on Saturday night!! The boring ballerina looks to be going slowly clockwise to me too... maybe your colleagues that see her going both ways had a few too many acid tabs in their youth? Anyway, she looks the same to me as you see her.... but I am very good at reading maps -- go figure.
I see you Neptina and raise you Plastic Little
OK, now that I see the ballerina, she does indeed have a rockin' set of tits. And she's going counter-clockwise like mad. Maybe if I can't find anything on TV I'll stop staring at her tits long enough to try to make her go clockwise.
Im so glad Im not the only one... :o)
You can't read a map? So what?
You can't read 3-D diagrams? That's okay!
Can you use your cock? If the answer is yes than that's all you need to get through life my friend.
There's only one way to 'force' the ballerina in the other direction and that's to kick her in the cunt.
I know how it feels, mate. I'm being tested for Asperger's at the end of the month ... seriously !
fingers...baby, let me share something with you. In high school they thought I was a genius...yeah I fooled them. I was only 16 years old. I was tested and had high scores...and really high scores in anything abstract. Yeah, I fooled them again.
I have one question...What ballerina?
hehehehe.
ciao sweetie....have a fab day.
Now try and find the image of the bear hidden in the Toblerone mountain logo.
Kicking ballerinas in the cunt - isn't that illegal in Australia? Over here in the States the cops shoot everyone in the junk with Tasers and then fry the whole package and our courts won't even call it torture, so we can kick ballerinas in the cunt if we want to. I don't know where Electro-Kevin came up with that idea. Maybe he was watching "Cops" at the time?
I'm not totally blind, but I'll bet you don't want us drinking as much either...at least while flying.
I still can't find the fucking ballerina.
OK, I finally found the ballerina on an Australian newspaper website.
Initially I see her twirling clockwise, but can also see her twirling CCW. The article doesn't say if you can use both sides if you can see her going "both" ways, but I like that in a woman.
How do you navigate when you're on the boat?
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1016204/the_spinning_silhouette_optical_illusion/
The centrifugal force created by her twirling pulls her tits out and makes them look bigger and perkier than they actually are. Now excuse me while I go practice twirling.
Found you on Spikers thread, thought I would pop over, and give an intro. Heard you big into correct spelling and whatnot. Is whatnot a word? Anyway will certainly try to get it right! The little Bivalve said to say Howzit! As to the left/right brain thing? it's always been a riddle to me. Enjoyed the visit. Will visit again. Steven
Thanks Fingers. I've lurked a lot, but never got round to leaving a comment.
I think a decent pair of tits (CG, enhanced, or otherwise) is always worth commenting on though.
this twirling ballerina is now freaking me out too, and im not there, grab her and spin her like a top, when she get dizzy (I know she's not real) she will stop spinning. If not your brain will. Your looking at her tits, I hope she's dressed.
I get it now. You have to stare at her long enough to be aroused. At which point whatever side your cock favors pointing to is indicative of whether you’re left/right brain. Very scientific! \
Or did I miss understand the exercise?
tits are gross, everyone knows that!
Kitty: Have you been taking electrocution lessons from Jeff Fenech.
Spiker: I'll bring the cherries, you supply the waffle as usual.
Uber: Do you twirl both ways.
Bammers: The North Snore is like The Lost World to me.
MS: I love how you all went and found the ballerina without my even putting a link in. My readers have so much initiative.
Friday: One what ??
Rage: What a charming turn of phrase. You can stay.
EK: Is that some sort of genetic test to see if you're really Jewish ??
Spiker: Bring your school uniform down to Oz please. I have a test I'd like you to sit for. Or lie down for.
Emma: I can't even find the fucking Toblerone bar.
MS: The cops here apparently tasered a petrol sniffer last month woth predictable results. Hard not to laugh. Poor science but it must have been hard to resist.
BB: Have you just gotten out of a plane crash or something ?? WTF...
Z: Excellent physics. Now can you tell me what force stops her stomach falling out through her snatch...
fingers babe...how are feelimg baby?
You want me to fly there to cook for you and take good care of you...while you're hurt sweetie? I'm fab at doing the domisticity thingy. I could bring my blackesyt boot, Red heel, that new VS outfit i bought while I was on vacay. Or Fench maid outfit. You pick honey...I just want you to feel better. m'kay.
ciao sweetie. xxx
I am more of a juggling machetes kinda girl.
MSD: Welcome to TWG, home of the incurable pedant. Please say hi to the BiValve...I miss her.
Grazor: And welcome to you too. A whole new batch of recruits today. Awesome. I needed fresh readers...my regulars are rubbish. Have you seen what they write. I deserve better.
MH: And welcome to you. It's just raining new readers in here today. Is someone out there promoting TWG with a sandwich board.
DeC: I don't know...but you sure misspelled misunderstand. She does have nice tits though.
Spiker: Did you type that comment with your elbow ??
Uber: I juggle live salmo to relieve stress sometimes...perhaps we could mix and machete sometime...
Fingers, just visited "The Lezzer", and saw a fresh comment from you. So you have not left Cunt Point to be on vacation?
The BiValve may be found at my store, looking in on the comments as "The Fly On The Wall" She is getting back into things slowly. (The action will no doubt follow.)
Will give her your message, or you could DIY at the store.
fingers baby...elbow? how'd yah know? :)
ciao baby.
I dunno what you're worried about Fingers - you've identified that the ballerina has nice tits, so why go fussing over which direction she might be twirling in.
I've done it BTW Fingers - I finally caved in & used your favourite word in a blog post. Deservedly so I might add.
but am, no.
Le sigh. That is all.
Counter-clockwise. And I'll be buggered if she's a ballerina. Ballerinas do NOT have boobs. AT ALL. EVER!!
fingers...sweetie, I tagged you. Come to my blog. Come play baby. :)
xxx
I truly hate that Aussie cops now have Tasers. Hopefully they'll do less ball-frying than cops in LA do. Cops in LA seem to have a penis-envy problem 'cause they go straight for the man-bits every time.
memphis babe...we were trained to go for the heart of a man. Er, and we all know...
:0)
later honey
Im sorry Fingers, you forgot me!! I was here in January, your pizza post. Anyway--->Hello Dearest.
hello...hello.
Um...no one's home. Ahem.
Snap snap snap.
click* click* click*
tap tap...taptap tap
ta-tap tap tap tap..tap. Spin.
tap tap taptap tap..taptap tap tap.
spin...show jazz hands....yeah.
fingers baby....I one was here and I had on my tap dancing shoes and...just had to. Um...sorry about the wood floors. :)
um...and I fed the bengals some of your left over large thin crust double mushroom pizza. sweetie they were hungry...I had to.
later baby. xxx
You love me anyway, huh honey?
I'll be here later to do a sing along...hey everyone...
hey.
*crickets*
Or not...is good, too.
=0)
came by to say hi honey.
"HI." xxx
Something like that would do my head in. I cant read a map either, I have absolutely no spatial intelligence... my dad however is the complete opposite.
And I second what Steve said, who cares as long as the ballerina has tits.
See? THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!
fingers...baby, I...just about had a melt down...AGAIN!
I think I need something for angst, pills, a loaded gun...etc.
I'm kidding...don't go and call my shrink. ;)
Hey...I think I'll do comedy today. i don't feel like tap dancing.
wait I have to get in my best bard stance...ahem.
Confucius say...man with hand in pocket...feel cocky all day.
Confucius say...crowed elevator smells different to midget.
Dang, did the chinese have elevators back then? ;)
xxx ciao hon.
I think Spiky Zora Jones is singlehandedly keeping this blog alive.
fingers - did you run off with the ballerina or what? Typical man, all about the tits.
hey fingers what's going on? don't tell me you actually have a life?
dani I'm thinking to see of fingers will let me co-host this blog or...let me be like his sidekick. I can entertain while he's off fighting crime and saving the world from vilains.
I can sing...and act...dance.
Let me sing you a song...ahem
Intro please.
*ladies and gents...all the way from Hollywood California...Spiky Zora Jones. give her a hand.*
oh I got a man that's always late...every time we have a date...
but I love him...oh yes, I love him
So I'm going to walk up to his gate. see if we can get it straight.
Cause I want him...yeah and I intend to have him.
I'll ask him...is you is or is you ain't my baby...
Well the way you're acting lately...well it makes me think.
oooohhhhh...oh, is my my baby still my baby too...shadda watda wow...
is you is or is you ain't my baby...mayyyybeeee...that baby's found somebody newww...ohh-ah oh oh...is my baby still my baby too...
oh is my baby...still my baby too..bidda bidda bidda bib da-bop...pahhhhh.
yeah...
*lady and gentlemen...Spiky Zora Jones...give her a hand or a finger.*
Hey!
ciao sweetie...and hi Fingers baby, do you like honey? :)
hello...thank you thank you...you like me....you like me. Thank you.
(((MWUAH-MWUAH)))
*bows from the waist*
thank you...I'll be playing at the whine guide all week...so you can catch my act here...ciao.
*ladies and gents...spiky has left the building.*
*hehehehe*
I'm a stinker huh honey? but you still love me, huh?
Well, Spiky, it doesn't seem like fingers objects to your co-hosting, so host away. Your song was terrific and we really do like you.
i was going to sing a song today and maybe dance a little but...Fingers has me tied naked to the bed in the cellar.
I guess I kind messed up his wood floors with that tap dancing a few days back. he said he would be right back after he feeds his bengals and cleans their litter box.
Then after he...um, you know. he'd like me to cook dinner for him.
I said that was fine...as long as I was his dessert...weeeeeeee!
***
the blog hi-jack will continue next Monday. :0)
hi fingers baby...no no...please, you don't have to thank me. It was my pleasure to co-host this blog. hehehehe. xxx
Ciao.
Mr Fingers.. I should imagine you enjoy giving a good drilling? that seems to be sure.. But what would you say about the Aussie Wallaby drilling this weekend.. Must say it was a pleasure to watch.. :-) I know that I am exposing myself for a real drilling over this comment.. But fun for sure.. :)
And after we do the 69 (comments) we will do the 70 which will probably do your back in if you are the zero.
Fingers is dry.
What a numpty.
fingers...sweetie...babe....honey, if you don't use it...it will become a virgin blog again.
You know that, right?
I'm offering you one of my many skills...no, not a blow job. Though I'm a pretty damn good BJ giver.
I was talking about CO-HOSTING at the Whine Guide. Think about it sweets. And remember that saying...
"Lock the door, spiky's coming."
No No...no not that one. *sigh*
Oh hey, look at the time...I have to go. I'm having lunch with Brit and LiLo. It's kind of a re-union thingy we have from *whispers* our time at Betty Ford...ha!
Pssst, we purposely didn't invite Paris.
ciao honey...have a fab Friday.
July the 13th? You wrote this shit on July the 13th! And you're still getting fucking comments on it! You aren't even writing and you're still getting comments and all that. You should write a fucking book - "How to get other people to write your blog for you". You'd make money on it, too, dammit. I know you would. Some fucking way you'd manage to make a fortune on this book and all the while your blog would still be going along, with some of the funniest people on the internet writing shit in your comments making it successful.
Meanwhile, over at my blog, it'd still just be me and the crickets. They seranade me while I frantically try to write horrible lies about my conquests down on the beach in Florida. No one believes a word of it, but that's OK 'cause they don't bother leaving any comments anyway, so fuck'em. BLEARGH!!!!!
I'm not jealous. Not me. I'm just observant. Yeah.
Oh, and you know Steph IN PERSON, too. FUCK ME - it's so unfair.
Again, I'm not jealous. I'm just saying, there are some people in this world who are blessed (you) and there are some who are just getting shit on every single day (me). It's like that movie, Layercake. Yeah, I'm gonna fuckin' quote it because I haven't written enough shit here on your blog for you. Here I go:
"You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son"
Yeah, and THEN you get to play James fuckin' Bond! Where's my layercake?! Where's my fucking layercake! AAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!
...and then Memphis Steve had a coronary and died. The autopsy revealed years of built up bitterness and rage toward some man named "fingers." Jealousy, however, did not play a role.
If you would like to pay a tribute, please leave a comment on his blog. I heard he likes that.
http://stevenjones.blogspot.com/
fingers...me and memphis steve are doing a tag team blog take over...of this here fine whine guide.
I'd say more, but I have to go make steve a layercake. :)
ciao sweetie.
PS...I think the natives are getting restless.
Layercake? See how she slipped that in there? She's making references to my fabulous Facebook status updates, which were in fact uploaded from my Twitter account. It's like two commercials in one, and both advertising me without any assistance whatever from Billy Mays!
We're losing you, mate, and with summertime coming what are the odds that you're going to sit inside and blog when there are beaches calling?
Fingers...Fingers...
hello...hello...hum, oh there you are.
Hey....
Yeah you....
Wake up...wake up...
Stop playing scrabble...it'll only scrabble your brain.
Come play with me...I'm more fun...I promise.
xxx
dear whine guide readers: I have a confession...ahem.
Okay...I'll tell you why fingers isn't posting anything new.
He's here in L.A. I locked him in my cellar. Don't worry about him, being a sex slave suits him quite well.
He gets great meals and has the best of the best in everything.
I did tell him it was wrong to break into Lindsey's place and take her personal sex dvds...and eatable panties. ;)
He's said he was sorry and would return the dvds, but he had already had the panties as a late night snack.
I was angry cause he didn;t share...Oh boo!
Later readers. Oh and I'll return him soon...m'kay.
I love how a post about map-reading has degenerated into a whole comment section about fornicating with a plastic, twirling ballerina with fantastic breasts.
You can't get that just anywhere.
If only I had known that my last comment on a fingers' post would be:
Now she won't stop. Bitch.
I might have rethought it and posted something more meaningful.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home