Sunday, September 20, 2009

the monday roast...

Does anyone else find post-match/game/event sports interviews as dull as I do these days. When was the last time you heard a sportsperson actually say anything interesting/controversial/original while being asked a question by their respective media ?? It's the same across the sports board however this year I believe that for various reasons Rugby league has led the way in stupefying the interview to the point where you need a Rosetta Stone to decode the piffle they have been blathering. This is what I've managed to decipher so far :

‘I was really proud of the way the guys stuck it out today and I’m just looking forward to next week’s game…’ – ‘I have no idea what the question meant but this is what they told me to say at Media Training Camp.’

‘Our ball retention was lacking…’ – ‘We didn’t catch very many passes…coz we’re shit.’

‘We failed to complete our sets…’ – ‘We didn’t catch very many passes…coz we’re shit.’

‘We let ourselves down in the execution…’ – ‘We’re not a very skillful team really…coz we’re shit.’

‘We didn’t get the basics right…’ – ‘Like I said…we’re shit.’

‘I thought we lacked intensity…’ – ‘We weren’t trying very hard. I hope no one noticed.’

‘I was really proud of the way the guys stuck it out today and I’m just looking forward to next week’s game…’ – ‘I’m a fucking moron and this is what they told me to say at Media Training Camp to avoid embarrassing myself or the team’.

‘We always expect a tough game from them…’ – ‘They were shit. I don’t know why they bothered turning up today.’

‘The score line didn’t reflect how hard it was out there…’—‘Fuck me I thought we were shit but did you see how bad those cunts were.’

‘It was a very physical game…’ – ‘Wow there was heaps of mistakes out there. I bet that was a really shit game to watch’.

‘We’re just going to give it our best shot next week’ – ‘We can’t possibly win next week. Didn’t you see how shit we were today?’

‘I was really proud of the way the guys stuck it out today and I’m just looking forward to next week’s game…’ – ‘I have brain damage and this is what they told me to say at Media Training Camp to avoid embarrassing myself or the sport.’

‘There were a lot of positives out there today.’ – ‘Fuck at least we didn’t get beaten as bad as we did last week.’

‘I think we can take a lot out of that performance…’ – ‘We had 75 ½ points head start on Footy Tab and only got beaten by 73.’

‘That’s footy I guess…’ – ‘Fuck we’re a shit team.’

'They took their opportunities better than us...' -- 'We lost beacuse the other side scored more points...even a silly cunt like you must see that.'

I was really proud of the way the guys stuck it out today and I’m just looking forward to next week’s game…’ –‘Fuck I hope I still have a job after that…coz I’m a fucking moron with brain damage and I don’t know how I’d earn a living if it wasn’t for footy.’