Thursday, December 30, 2010

cue the 'jaws' music...


As you may have noticed, I haven’t blogged for a while !!!
Nothing sinister in it: I just haven’t felt like it to be honest.
It started off as a small writer’s block, which then developed into creative apathy all by itself…followed thereafter by a personal catastrophe that rendered me utterly disinterested in making anyone’s life any jollier.
So, I didn’t blog…
And I certainly didn’t comment on many other blogs because let’s face it…if I’m not writing then I’m not reading. It’s the same with conversation; if I’m not talking then I’m unlikely to be listening.
But I’ll be back in the New Year for sure.
Meanwhile, with the New Year theme in mind, I’d like to farewell 2010 with a little game I invented a few years ago called ‘Other Peoples’ New Year’s Blogging Resolutions’…or as it’s sometimes also known: What I Hate Most About Your Blog…You Cunt !!!
The idea is basically to list the NY resolutions you think certain other people should make…because I’d rather nail my pee-pee to a burning building than read anyone’s personal NY resolutions themselves. I mean really…like I give a fuck whether you do drugs, smoke too many cigarettes, are fifty kilos overweight, beat your spouse or secretly drink from the toilet.
So, in order to play this game, when you comment, please choose three (3) bloggers and list one (1) resolution you’d like to see each of them make for 2011 with respect to their blogs.

I’ll start the game off…and please don’t feel slighted by omission if you weren’t one of the three I chose…there are no favourites here at TWG. Rest assured that even though you’re not mentioned…I almost certainly still loathe many things about your shitty blog…

OK…let’s start with…Kitty over at ‘Shrinking Kitty’… (OK so I DO play favourites here at TWG…GFY). Not much to complain about over at SK really. Kitty’s blog is plump, pink and perfect…just like its author. So, I’d like her NY resolution to be that she will self-delete her wonderful blog on a far more regular basis; say twice a week to begin with…

Then there’s Spiky over at ‘Bit Player Reflects’ …no prizes for guessing what I’d like her to do with ‘Drive-By Poetry Day’. I make no secret of the fact I despise poetry. I loathe it. Reading someone else’s poetry is like listening to someone talk about a weird dream they had…or an acid trip they once took. Poetry is nothing more than shitty prose, chopped up into supposedly artistic bits with proper punctuation left out for added ‘meaning’. Of course I am probably the only one who thinks like this…

And finally there’s Bam Bam & Frankie over at ‘BamBamBam’ & ‘The Fifi Dangerfield Files’ …yes I know they are two people/two blogs but in reality they are now one. Siamese bloggers joined at the cyber-genitals, messing up the internet with their syrupy romance. I’m not really sure what I’d like these two love-vultures to resolve for NY ?? Certainly they were edgier when single and bitter…but even I wouldn’t be comfortable for their turgid affair to be butchered in the name of better blogging. So, perhaps the two of you could take your juvenile mutual desire for each other’s slippery bits somewhere else…like FB…and get back to your blogging roots…

And on that note…may I wish you all a Happy New Year and may you all get what you asked for in 2011…