Sunday, April 17, 2011

an announcement...

Hi People, I haven't been blogging much of late. Apologies but I've been concentrating my limited creative efforts on writing short plays just recently. Ten minute plays, directed and acted by rank amateurs like myself. It's all a bit new and exciting and I've neglected TWG. I entered a local competition with one of my scripts last week...and here are the results: crash test drama Story of my life...lousy fucking 3 seconds...

56 comments:

Ms Smack said...

Good on you, mate.

About time you put that creative skill to good use.

x

Ms Smack said...

"Playwright's Encouragement Award: Sparkling Effluescence by David F"

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

fingers said...

Smack: Oh fuckety fuck fuck fuck on the Playwright's Encouragement Award !!! It sounds like some special needs badge they hand out to the kid that didn't win any other prizes. I wanted that winner's sash for Best Play...and I'd have got it too (in a tie) if it wasn't for those 3 lousy seconds...
Secretly I was a bit pleased at the effort though...

UBERMOUTH said...

Wow, you beat out the winner by 3 seconds! I bet THAT's a first! :)
Seriously, congratulations! You're definitely a unique voice with your wit and style and equal blend of 16 letter and four letter words which I see they duly noted.

I can't wait to pen the kiss and tell !

Ms Smack said...

Dave, honestly. After all the years on SMH, and this blog, and the ensuing hilarity on other blogs, it's wasted talent here, honestly.

Continue to follow it up. Get in those circles. The encouragement award sounds lame, ok, but it's something on, what should be, a long list of achievements.

xx

Electro-Kevin said...

What do you mean he's wasted here, Cath ?

He's wasted every fucking where by all accounts.

emma said...

Oh congratulations - that's awesome and I wish I could see the play performed. It's very exciting that you won the award and that you're putting your work out there.

But I have a feeling that such a comment will make you want to kick me in the cunt and then vomit into the nearest pot plant, so instead I'll do my tribute to your commenting style and say:

"Well done. That's got to be the first time you've gone three seconds too long..."

Right - back to sickeningly nice - they called you brilliant!

And if my sister was reading this she would think you got first place because for years she thought the word "penultimate" meant "the best". So in her eyes, you won?

What's the play about and can you post it?

LẌ said...

Three seconds over? Too many notes!

Congrats anyway!

phishez said...

Soo.. you lasted too long? Not bad for an old fart.

Fanny said...

Congratulations Fingers. Will the play get an airing again?

Pete Malicki said...

"It sounds like some special needs badge they hand out to the kid that didn't win any other prizes."

Yeah right, David. I saw the look of pure joy in your eyes when I announced that award. You were like a kid in an ice cream store running from vat to vat with your little stackhat strapped on.

And it was actually 63 seconds too long, but don't let the facts get in the way of quality whinging.

Coordinator

Spiky Zora Jones said...

fingers...congrats honey. First there was the San Jose State Bulwer-Lytton Award and now this...

fingers baby...I knew you had it in you. First it was the San Jose State's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Award and now this Award. that's Great.

So what's next...Hollywood?

We (Hollywood) need new blood sweetie...now is the time for YOU to write a script like the 60's cult film Faster Pussy Cat Kill Kill' but with more unlady like karate chops, butt kicking kicks and judo flipping blonde babes with lots of curves...yeah, you've got it...big boobs.

ciao xxx

PS... I'm available for any acting, singing, dancing parts. just contact my agent. Oh, I forgot to mention I do my own stunts.

Congrats again honey.

MommyHeadache said...

Keep cranking out the Sparkling Effluescence...seriously Fingers I'm glad you are cracking on. You are a serious talent but as you know getting anywhere in the 'creative game' is 10 per cent inspiration, 90 per cent perspiration and thirty minutes of going down on the casting director.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

did I stutter...did I stutter? :)

fingers said...

Uber: Actually, you know how fond of the C-Bomb I am? Well I found a way to use it in context for a change. The audience still gasped noticeably when it popped out...6 times in a row...but relaxed a bit when the point became clearer. Such a fun word to use...

Smack: You are so right, baby. I do deserve all this near-success after all the near-work I've nearly put in over the years.

Jiney: Just having a whine...its what I do.

E-K: Boom Boom.

Emma: Hey, I know a guy that thinks 'penultimate' means last...and he's a writer, FFS. Now, get your cunt out while I lace up the old kicking boots. You know I how I feel about gushing on my blog.

xl: Whose fault was that 3-second mistake ?? I guess it would be easy to blame my two wonderful lead actors for the overtime. Valentino for hamming up the pissing-n-the--kettle scene like Lord Olivier, or Lidia for struggling to pronounce 'Warragamba'...so let's do that.

Phish: At least I didn't dribble.

Fanny: An airing ?? My play is not a soiled mattress. It's a work of art, you rude cunt. Hopefully it might get another run at some point. I've entered it in another comp but havent heard back from them yet as to whether it's been accepted. Fingers crossed.

*at this point i should explain that the next commenter is the Coordinator of Crash Test Drama...and holds my immediate writing career in the palm of his hand...so a little more tact than normal is required*

PM: Fuck my life !!! How the fuck did you fucking find me here at Cunt Central, Psycho ?? Yes, OK, I admit I might have been a little excited at getting my Merit Badge. I may even have squealed a bit and weed down my own leg. But later, when the enormity of my failure to proceed in the competition sank in...I was seething like a duck. Make no mistake. I will return. Better and shorter than ever. (And yes, it was actually 63 seconds...but the first 60 didn't count...so I'm not counting them.)

Spiker: Um, unless you know something I don't I'm not sure I've won the B-L yet ?? I hope I have. It will look so cool next to my Special Needs Award.

Emmak: Thanks for the heads-up, baby. It all sounds too hard when you put it that way. I think I'll try something easier...

Anonymous said...

normally you are rather proud of your extra three seconds smoopie darling...

xxx

fingers said...

Pooks: Three seconds extra beats sloppy seconds any day...

unique_stephen said...

Encouragement Award ... it's like one of those new "outcomes" school reports that don't have a mark on them.

Did not meet expectations.

Bad Bob said...
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Bad Bob said...

Hey Mate,
It's not one of those things where everyone gets a prize is it?
Even so,that's AWESOME! Just because you didn't win the big prize is reason to go kick their collective asses next time! Time to fulfil your competitive spirit.
Don't give up on your dreams. I didn't and it's what keeps me going.

San Jose State's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Award?? San Jose State? I went there!!!
Hang in there buddy. We are all pulling for you.

Memphis said...

CUNTGRATULATIONS!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Sweetie...darling, are you still out writing plays? I mean really, how many times can you win The Playwright's Encouragement Award?

You know...you will eventually come back to the DARK SIDE of the force. :)

ciao...baby.

Bo Bo said...

Your new look (I haven't been around a while) sucks. What's with the Bare Grills mountain tops? Writing classy as ever.

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL I have a male friend who swears the c word is his favourite word. And he has an English degree[masters] and incredible vocab... go figure:)

I HATE that word[but have been known to call the odd girl that, appropriately, when really mad]

Bambam said...

"Noted recluse playwright David Fingret"... has a nice ring to it! Brilliant first effort mate, and I'm sure your next one will get you in the finals.

Ms Smack said...

Bam, when he becomes famous, he'll simply be D. or a symbol or something. I reckon he'll lose his surname :)

And Bam, do you have any blogging stories about your trip?

I loved the Grand Canyon pics.

x

UBERMOUTH said...

Whenever you pop up on my blog I think it is a shameless self promotion of another post-only to be teased again. You simply only missed me.

Now post something playwright!

De Campo said...

I’m also tied up in theatrics at the moment (Afghanistan). However, I will be standing by for further instructions.

Ms Smack said...

Hi luv, are you going to write something soon?

xx

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Clyde said...

Congratulations mate.
Hey, just like a septic tank---the big chunks will always float to the top---keep going

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Electro-Kevin said...

I thought these were meant to be short plays.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Um...I'll be back. I just have to get a mirror to put under the nose of this blog...

Yeah...to see if it's breathing.

Bad Bob said...

Hey Fingers,
Cat got your fingers? Oh well. I guess all my friends are pretty much done blogging. That's why I have paced myself.

Electro-Kevin said...

Fingers RIP ???

Memphis said...

Sure is dusty in here.

LẌ said...

Wishing you the best Christmas ever.

Electro-Kevin said...

Happy Christmas

electro-kevin said...

Ten minute plays ?

When I'm acting solo I normally limit myself to three.

Katherine Anderson-Haze said...

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?

You are missed greatly...

Memphis said...

Mostly you are missed because your neighbors are such lousy shots. Clearly they aren't cricket players.

Bad Bob said...

Well Mate,
It's been over a year, and I was kind of hoping that you might be over the disappointment by now.
I will continue to stop by just to see if you arise from the ashes.
I hope you are doing OK.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

If the great bard "William Shakespeare" were here he would say to you in Dutch, because he was clever like that. "Gij zijt enn poes."

Write, write, write...I hope you are doing that. :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...
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Memphis said...

He's gone, babe. He left when Steph went BOOM.

Spiky Zora Jones said...
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Spiky Zora Jones said...
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Memphis said...

So then I said, "You can't do that with a sandwich!" BWA HA HA HA!!!

Katherine Anderson-Haze said...

remember...we were partners in crime.