Tuesday, September 19, 2006

one man's meat is another man's greener grass...


Unlike many of you whining, bitching, moaning minimum-wage-slaves…I actually love my job.
I’m a foreign exchange dealer/broker; I buy and sell very large sums of money against other currencies in the hope they appreciate/depreciate by small amounts, thereby securing a profit for yours truly. Then there are the losing trades; shit happens, eh…if it was that easy, even you cabbages could be doing it.
Anyway, this morning I was going through the pre-work morning ritual at home…strong coffee, cigarette, financial news from Europe/US, another cigarette…
Suddenly the Bloomberg Financial Channel froze, as the digital cable channels do from time to time, although with Bloomberg FC it’s sometimes 5 minutes before you notice any difference…as was the case today.
When the freeze finally dawned on me I flipped over to FoxSports1 and took in a little of the overnight golf from the UK. I love golf; love playing it, love watching it and like every golf-tragic out there I dream of playing it professionally.
All those beautifully manicured fairways, the towering trees, the sculpted waterways …the chance to be a fat white guy dressed like a skinny black pimp for the day.
It’s all so, so good.
Literally, it’s a walk in the park interrupted by the occasional act of hitting a small ball with a stick and picking up your wheelbarrow full of cash at the end.
All so, so good.
But then I got to wondering; does golf become just another tedious job to these guys after a while ?? Do professional golfers ever stand there waiting to tee off and think ‘Fuck this shit…I wish I could sit in an office for 10 hours a day and trade currencies for a living…’

31 comments:

world champ stephen neal said...

First post, bitches!

Do you also buy and sell foreign exchange students?

fingers said...

Champ...I'm so fuckin' rich I don't even have to sell 'em.
I just buy 'em and keep 'em around the house for laughs...

Odly Amore said...

I've tried golf. Played it twice, when I realized I have absolutely no natural innate affinity for the game, decided that if I couldn’t be the next world champion overnight golfing sensation then fuck it I didn’t want to play at all.

fingers said...

That's the spirit, Odly.
How's your night-putting though...

Odly Amore said...

hole in one every single time.

fingers said...

That's fucking good shooting, Tigress.
Especially on the back nine...

Odly Amore said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Odly Amore said...

oh! you're still talking about golf...

:oD

actonb said...

I have never understood the attraction of golf as a spectator sport... Playing it, maybe... watching it? Worse than cricket IMHO...

Ms Smack said...

hmm I know someone that does something similiar. He advises investors when to buy and sell - also, big money.

Interesting! I didnt know that about you, Mr Fingers.

fingers said...

I sympathise completely, Nic.
I have never understood the attraction of God as a figure of worship... Being God, maybe... worshipping him ? Worse than women's sport IMHO...

I also like to use cocaine on thursday nights out, and cultivate bromeliads in my spare time, Ms Smack...

Original Mel said...

Only on Thursday night Fingers? That's not what I heard...

actonb said...

ouch!

fingers said...

OK Mel...you got me.
Thursday nights AND whenever I'm reading Mountjoy's narcoleptic blog...

Jin said...

Many moons ago, I thought I'd do the wifey thing & went for golf lessons, so that I could play with Hubs in far off lands. I schlepped the friggin bats all the way to Blantyre, only to find the course had sand for greens & old & dried tobacco leaf fairways. I hit the ball a few times & couldn't find the little fucker for love nor money.
I tried, I really, tried another 2 times I think, but my co-ordination sucks & I quite happily flogged the bats. Sod that for a lark!
Like fingers tho, I've often wondered if the pro's ever get to the 1st tee & think to themselves 'I'd rather be.......'

Jin said...

and.........world champ stephen neal........after fingers has had his use of the students, he sends 'em off to Dubai, where they become camel jockeys for wealthy rag'eads........

fingers said...

Jin...did you know that the word golf was originally an acronym for 'Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden'??
Men will go to any lengths, wear any stupid kind of clothing, play any kind of pointless sport, suffer any amount of personal indignity and pay any sum of money just for a few hours peace and quiet...

Ms Smack said...

I hope when I find a guy [that I like enough to want to keep for awhile] likes golf, or some other outdoor,get-out-of-the-house, hobby.

I couldnt think of anything more fucking annoying and irritating than him NOT having a personal interest outside of the house.

fingers said...

My last girlfriend used to sleep on the back porch at nights...

Mountjoy said...

Ms Smack, just think, you could end up with a man who trades foreign currency for a hobby.....

fingers said...

Lady Mountjoy ended up with a full-time plonker...

WJ said...

she did fingers, but then again she also used to chase cats, didn't she?

fingers said...

I bet if we could get your pugs to talk, you'd be sharing a cell with The Rabbit Fondler, Todd...

mushroom said...

Golf was invented to give the old and flabby a sporting chance....its not sport, its a hobby IMHO...

Yes I am bitter, i played it once and cant stand it.

Mountjoy said...

As opposed to the women who decided a life of lesbianism was preferable to another night with you, fingers....

fingers said...

Donnie, it's my life's ambition to convert ALL of them to lesbianism.
Not that I expect a word of thanks from you...

Kaisa said...

Golf is a great sport; when you are in highschool anyway. You tee off at the first green and after you have all hit the ball ones the teacher fucks off for coffee or something, and we get to bludge about and kill tree's and bushes with our clubs. Lots of fun... wouldn't want to watch it; even adam sandler was boring

Mountjoy said...

No, don't hold your breath. If you DO convert them all to lesbianism, who are you going to get to play with your wing-wang, you fool?

Georgia said...

Fingers is only interested in hot lesbians who will perform in front of him, not converting all women into dungaree-wearing bulldykes with crew cuts. Of course his hot lezzo dream is only something that money can buy.

As for golf, dreadful game. So many golf-obsessed wankers out here. As for my one attempt at golf, embarrassingly it was a putting contest after a lunch to promote women playing golf. The prize was a weekend in the Hunter. Par was 20 strokes to get through nine holes. I got through in 35. The only man present at the lunch won.

welcome to wallyworld said...

High school golf! Ah the memories. We used to hit off on the back nine at Bayview Golf Course - the wrong way. There were some glasshouses just behind the tee and they made a smashing sound. Then there'd be a yell and a tirade of Yugoslavian swearing. And we'd hit and run. Jesus, sixteen year old boys can be pricks eh? Then there was "can a hole" at Royal Avalon - sink a tinnie after every green. Lucky it was only nine holes. But funnily enough by the seventh I was really starting to get my game together and would birdie or par the last three. Golf is like a bigger version of pool or billiards but with a better class of player and less brawls.

Ms Smack said...

I once had a dream that I laid my neurotic 40 something, frizzyhaired female neighbour. As a straight girl, I couldnt put my wheelie bin out for a week in case I saw her.

And worst still, I needed a shower when I woke up!

ugh!