Sunday, June 10, 2007

bad dog...bad, bad dog...

From the SMH today...

'Two Thai street mutts who became ace sniffer dogs at an airport near the notorious Golden Triangle opium-producing region have been fired for urinating on luggage and sexually harassing female passengers.
The pair, Mok and Lai, had been plucked from obscurity under a program initiated by King Bhumibol Adulyadej to turn strays into police dogs, the Bangkok Post said today.
Although they won plaudits from police for their work in sniffing out drugs at northern Thailand's Chiang Rai airport, near the border with Laos and Burma, so many passengers complained about their behaviour they had to be fired.
"He liked to pee on luggage while searching for drugs inside," Mok's former handler, Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhon, said. "He also liked to hold on to women's legs."...'
Now, as an animal lover (not THAT kind, Mountjoy). I'm all for Thailand turning their strays into police dogs rather than green curries. And I'm not saying that the relevant authorities should have predicted the potential danger in promoting 'Mok' (pictured above) to a sensitive position in the drug squad. Just that I firmly believe a grave injustice has been done to poor 'Mok'; he has been dismissed without any attempt by his employer to correct his terrible work ethic.
Animals with jobs should have the same rights as their human counterparts.
That magical nose of 'Mok's' should have been rubbed in his pee every time he fouled someone's luggage. Sure, he might not have been able to detect much opium with a snootful of his own urine, but at least it should have been worth a try for a dog once considered an ace.
And as for the ongoing sexual harassment; well that's an easy fix.
To 'Mok's' handler, Police Lieutenant Colonel Jakapop Kamhon, I offer the following advice; if you want to stop 'Mok' humping the passengers' legs, simply give him a blowjob each day before work...

28 comments:

Steph said...

I once had a boyfriend who liked to pee on my funbags and hump my leg.
Come to think of it, he had a nasty drug habit too.

kezzee said...

oh hell steph i think i know him

jungle jane said...

Is that dog a burns victim??

fingers said...

Steph, my ex-wife used to wet the bed after a night out on disco-bickies. I think I might have to post about that some day...

Kezzee, hello...

Jane, there's obviously an opening for an opium-sniffer in Bangkok. You interested ?? If I were a passenger, I don't know if I'd let you pee on my luggage but you could hump my leg to your heart's content...

fingers said...

And yes, Jane...little Mok is a burns victim.
He blew himself up free-basing coke...

WJ said...

fingers I think everyone is missing the fact that poor old Mok was simply implementing a random drug testing regime as part of his duties, only problem being that with the coke burns and all he had major shape identification issues and thought that suitcases were test tubes...

fingers said...

Are you on drugs too, WJ...

WJ said...

no, just jetlag and too much drinking back here. Can't think of anything else just now...

An Elephant update?

fingers said...

I've severely wounded The Elephant with my rusty little spear. She's still standing, struggling to escape, blundering across the open grassland with me in hot pursuit...

WJ said...

Hmmm, sounds like a cross between something hosted by David Attenborough and the transcript of an indecent assault trial...

fingers said...

Yes.
And all set to The Benny Hill Show theme music...

WJ said...

And no doubt the film footage is all shown at 'Fast Forward' speed, your little legs pumping away like pistons as The Elephant lopes away trailing blood and vodka...

I get the idea...

kezzee said...

that little bald guy in benny hill looks a little like Mok

fingers said...

You're delerious.
Get your adjectives out...

kezzee said...

I think you need a verb

phishez_rule said...

That sounds like a fun workplace!

WJ said...

my adjectives were confiscated by Customs, along with the Zambian White Rhino Horn and Narwhal powder...

fingers said...

From the sounds of it you won't be needing those performance-enhancers anyway, WJ.
Time to break out the winter monk-robes, Brother Wozza...

WJ said...

Was I just accepted into some Brotherhood of the Elephant Hunters without realising, or are you simply pointing out that I am not going to be getting any for a while?

Assuming it is the latter, I do realise you know...

fingers said...

It's back to 'Man School' again for you...

WJ said...

Just let me know when you are next conducting lectures and I am there fingers.

Although if I am going to re-enrol I will need some comfort that you have brought down the Elephant. I don't want to be learning from anyone other than a Master...

fingers said...

I'm finished lecturing; I have two cats now.
Bengals though, so very manly sort of cats...

mutleythedog said...

this is humiliating and embarrasing for us all.. they say you can take the dog out the street - but you can't take the street...

I am off to hump someone before they notice TEE HEE!!

jungle jane said...

Poor little bastard. I can see they grafted part of his testicles onto his face. Amazing how the top quiff of fur escaped the fireball, eh?

jungle jane said...

oh yeah i meant to say...Bengals are poofs.

jungle jane said...

Fuck, i must be wasted. Its not a testicle, its his tongue.

fingers said...

Actually, it's my tongue.
I photo-shopped the jpeg...

mutleythedog said...

May I come round for dinner tonight - I am hungry..