Wednesday, November 07, 2007

and completely unrelated to sex...although it is fucked...



Amazingly prominent on the front page of yesterday’s SMH (aka…the-rag-formerly-known-as-a-newspaper), mixed in with the hard-hitting stuff on Ben Cousins’ rehab drama, Brittney’s custody drama and some Bollywood cunt’s fan-mail drama…was a not-too-insignificant piece (of public-relations-issued-drivel) concerning our beloved ‘Telstra’ and their hard-working executives.
It seems that a measly 66% of shareholders think the company executives are a little too well-rewarded for their steering of the corporate ship into historically shallow waters.
We know this because they held a vote on the subject.
Sadly for the 2/3 of the voters who told the executives to jam their ginormous bonuses up their collective asses, this was a ‘non-binding’ vote, which is to say it was not really a vote at all.
It was a sham.
‘Telstra chairman Don McGauchie said The Board was very disappointed by the vote…’
However, since it was a non-binding vote, they would get over the disappointment and get back to gouging the shareholders, buying boats and making poor business decisions.
‘He said the board would carefully analyze the figures and give them full consideration in future remuneration planning.’
However since they were non-binding figures, The Board would eventually just do the same thing again next year since there was fuck all anyone could do about it anyway.
‘He said Telstra's board believed the remuneration plan was fair and reasonable and would not have proposed it if it did not.’
Which is also a fair and reasonable assessment of their supreme arrogance and explains why they get the big bucks and you, the shareholders, get falling stock-prices and non-binding voting rights, you silly cunts.

So, basically fuck you all very much for buying our stock, now let us get back to ripping you off and you can get back to the Ben Cousins’ Story…

29 comments:

Josh said...

Now either you are a sucker who bought shares in this wonderful institution or you are a broker that is getting sick of hearing the tales of woe from ma and pa first time investors who got shafted..

Either way I think you hit the nail on the head.

fingers said...

Josh: I'm neither, although I do work in the money markets. I'm just amazed by the general stupidity of the general public, the level to which they've been unempowered and the lack of interest they seem to have in being continually pack-raped by these cunts...

BottleBlonde said...

Who are the members of this 'board' and where do they live? I'm shopping for a husband.

surfercam said...

Yeah what a joke.

I hope the same thing happens in the election - when Johnny doesn't get enough votes he can just turn around to KRudd and tell him, "Na, fuck off I'm staying."

Betty Boob Hug said...

I really like the Ben Cousins story.

What will happen with Benny?

fingers said...

BB: Most of them live in my building at Cunt Point, although they are downstairs on the cheaper floors.

SC: I'd happily vote in the election if it were a non-binding vote.

BBH: Ben is joining the Board of Telstra...

unique_stephen said...

is it just me, or does Sol Trujillo look like Ron Jeremy

Kitty said...

Ben Cousins is a fucking patsy. That bitch wouldn't know a meth addiction if it fucked up his entire life and put him in a pysch ward.

Nobody looks like that with a serious 'drug problem'. He's a fucking twat.

As for the Telstra bit...hmmmm, nah I don't really give a fat rats.

Betty Boob Hug said...

hahah kitty, a fucking patsy. I haven't heard that word used for about two decades! I love it :)

My Dad can't stand the guy, and says he is a complete tosser, but I have a soft spot for ol' benny. I don't know why. Good boy gone bad or something?

well. better get back to my nestle choc bits then.

itisthelittlethings said...

Ugh politics...business...my eyes are glazing over...
Can we go back to sexual addiction?

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Wha-hey...I thought Ben Cousins was let go. Is he still playing football?

Fingers. Babe. That's the way big business is. Sometimes we have to...to keep our peanut-butter butlers, you know.

Really all kidding aside...big businesses get bigger by doing what is right for their sharholders...I'm talking about those big and those small shareholders.

Babes...you just have to get a woman to lead that company...like me.

Oh hey...I want a really cute assistant...beautiful like kitty. One I can attache blueberry muffins to so I can then chase her around the office. I love to eat muffins.

Ciao babes.

Les Miserable said...

What's the low-down on that cunt, Adler, fingers? Is it true he got off with just paying the OneTel liquidator 1 mill out of the 6 he skived off in bonuses?

Off topic but I noticed people were coming to an old post of yours on Wallyworld - Google "Crap Christmas presents" - here's part of it -

"So fingers, where did all your xmas presents come from this year? Fischer Price or Playskool?
December 28, 2005 | Rob Byrnes

Nope...'CuntsRUs'.
I got a Rob Byrnes doll.
December 28, 2005 | fingers

:-)

UBERMOUTH said...

Your idle threats don't scare me- I am not a shareholder.

Kitty said...

LT- I agree baby!! Betty, you like Ben Cousins cause he is a fuck worthy spunk rat and Spiky... you can eat my muffin baby. Yummo.

Fingers- don't shout at me for talking in your silly comment box, that is WHAT IT IS FOOOOOR.

~Miss Smack said...

Yeh, wankers. I agree. Perhaps you can throw a girl a bone on WHO to invest with?

Steph said...

I don't care. I keep all my money in a tin box under my bed.

Suck on THAT!

electro-kevin said...

Hey ! You goin' all esoteric on us Pommes, Fingers ???

I ain't gotta clue whaddafuckalldisisabout.

:-((

Laughing Boy said...

non binding shareholder votes are a complete sham!
the arrogance of the telstra board being disappointed with the voting outcome is something to behold!!....please tell me they didn't expect the dumb shareholders (of which i am one) to say 'well done chaps, help yourself to a bigger slice of the pie...., oh and we don't really mind if the share price is south of the list price'.

fingers said...

Unique: He looks like a Cuban cigar salesman to me. The cunt.

BBH: He's just another overpaid idiot lucky enough to be making a fortune out of the national obsession with sports. Fuck him.

LT: Yes, I get that same glazing when people tell me their mean old banks are fucking them in the ass.

Spiky: Yes, thanks darling. I like my corporate education to come from experienced people...like dancers.

Lombay: I miss Byrnes sometimes. He was like an arcade-game-gopher that you whacked with a rubber mallet.

Uber: Back from the dead again I see. I'm running out of pleasantries for your monthly eulogy.

Kitty: WHERE DID I SHOUT AT YOU ??

Smack: I wouldn't buy WHO shares. They are losing alot of money trying to rid Africa of AIDS. Where's the profit in that ??

Steph: You want me to suck on your box, Tin Woman ??

E-K: Do you have any idea how much time I spend Googling people and places mentioned on yours and Mutley's blogs ??

LB: I wonder how they'd like it if I bought their shares, complete with their non-binding rights, with this big pile of invisible money I'm sitting on...

rackorf said...

Ben is a drugfucked dickhead. I'm thinking about running odds on how long it is until he gets locked up for an armed rob. or something now he's got some free time and a habit.

The Telstra board cunts are cunts who have probably had a long experience of walking on other cunts. There's heaps of similar types around. Such is the law of the jungle.

it's the little things... said...

Fingers, why, are you makin' fun o' my misery, you evil set of digits?

UBERMOUTH said...

Don't worry , the last one is framed and hangs on my blog door.

fingers said...

Rack: The problem is that Cousins' stupidity only costs himself, whereas Telstra's Board costs everybody...yet most people care more about the Cousins story. Silly cunts.

LT: Coz making fun of mine wouldn't be funny, would it silly.

Uber: And your blog hangs on my bog door...

UBERMOUTH said...

NO wonder I am blind!

rackorf said...

Sad but true fingers.

Steph said...

Update already you lazy fuck.

Kitty said...

I was assuming you WOULD shout cause you normally do shout at me when I gossip to others in your comment box and not yoooou (kermit face).

Yes, I'm with Steph - update you laaaaaazyyyyy mooootheeeerfuuuuuckeeeer.

electro-kevin said...

That's a fair point, Fingers.

;-)

electro-kevin said...

I feel really bad about that thoughtless comment now.

:-(