They were the salt and pepper goddesses of the interwebs.
OK, so the posts were hardly Ayn Rand...and the stories weren't exactly the adventures of Marco Polo or Aladdin...but who cared ?? Just the thought of these two scorching hornbags tearing around Sydney with their ultra-fabulous friends was enough to have us all wishing we could be them for a day.
And what a tease 'Steph' was too...she'd spice up her posts with a few photos...always careful to blackout the eyes or cut off the heads to protect her privacy and the privacy of her uberhot friends; or as she called them The Supertards.
I always felt sorry for the average 'MAAS' reader because they never got to see the real 'Steph', covered as she was in her giant sunnies, or eyes blacked out...coz boy oh boy was she ever ridiculously good-looking. Luckily, I had become very close friends with her off-blog. We e-mailed regularly...and sometimes, when I'd go in to bat for her on her blog after a hater had taken a cheap shot, she'd blubber her thanks in private and reward me with an uncensored photo of her...or her and Kylie...which I would instantly print out and paper my entire bedroom wall with
Anyway, I think enough time has passed since 'MAAS' went extinct...and I know many of you were huge, huge fans of 'Steph'...so I have decided to release my private collection of photos for your masturbatory pleasure...
Here's one of my favourites. Classic 'Steph' really...and look she's even giving me 'the finger'...coz you know...I'm Fingers.
Or what about this one ?? Brunette 'Steph' with her adorable little doggie 'Lulubelle'...proving that she didn't always have to be blonde to look gorgeous.
And here they are together again. The Captain and Vice-Captain of the All Star Supertards; OMG who wouldn't want to slather themselves in peanut butter oil and slide up and down bewteen these two mega-foxes ??
Let me save you the trouble of fantasizing about that; here's what it actually looks like to get down and dirty with 'Steph' and her A-list party-stoppers. I think this was taken at 'Steph's' last birthday...a champagne-fuelled pillow-wrestle at some top secret nightclub that we mortals can only dream about.
So, hands up everyone who thinks these photos are the nicest present I've ever given my readers here on TWG ?? Hmmm...just counting those hands...that's ONE...thanks Memphis Steve.
Now, hands up those who think I've committed an act of unspeakable cuntery and violated the trust of one of blogging's 'Untouchables'. Hmmm...OK that's a lot of hands. In fact I'd say everyone has their hand up except Memphis Steve.
No, wait...he's got his hand up too; nothing like having an each way bet when it comes to not pissing 'Steph' off.
OK, let's cut to the chase here, shall we.
Firstly, at the conclusion of this post I will be flying off to Stockholm to accept the Nobel Prize for Stupidity.
Secondly, if anyone knows where Memphis Steve actually lives, could you please go round there and hide all the rope, remove all the knives, unplug the toaster and stay with him for a while.
And lastly, I'd like everyone to take a peek at this link; this one here...
Recognize anyone you know ??
Hey look, it's 'Steph'...
There's blonde 'Steph' and brunette 'Steph'...'Steph' and her Mum...'Steph' and the luckiest dolphin in the whole wide world...they're all there; it's basically a 'Steph Wonderworld'.
Check out page 2...why it's 'Steph and Kylie'...frolicking at the beach party...glamming it up at the local club...and everyone's all-time fave 'Nurse Steph and Nurse Kylie'...
OK, who's got a really big case of the 'what the fucks' ??
Try page 3 then...
Ooooooooh, it's 'Bollinger Steph' and 'Kristal Kylie' chugging bottles of French champagne on their PR salaries as though the world could end at any moment.
OK, anyone whose penny still hasn't dropped...I want you to go and Google 'Staci Cole' !!!
I'll wait here while you do it...
Now...say it with me...OMG...ZOMG...ZOMFG...
More to come on this breaking news story...oh and seriously can someone please go round and check on Memphis for me...