Sunday, May 07, 2006

i wouldn't be caught dead doing that...

Death is rarely a subject that generates the laughter on a grand scale, which is a shame, as it’s in plentiful supply (er death that is…not laughter…). And karmically speaking, I certainly don’t want to anger the gods of mortality by making fun of anyone’s specific demise, however…
There was something just a touch tragicomical about Richard Carlton, famous for his dislike of the media-circus but once again right there in the thick of the whole frenzied pack, asking his last ‘difficult’ question at the Beaconsfield mine moments before staggering off-camera to collapse and expire.
My sympathy goes out to Carlton’s family/friends; at least as much as I can muster considering they are complete strangers and the man did have a chronic heart-condition. I tend to save the real, heartfelt sympathy for strangers like the Delezio family, especially when my compassion is in such short supply to begin with.
It wasn’t so much Carlton’s death that I found amusing but rather the number of people falling over themselves to trot out that well-worn cliché; that ‘Carlton died doing what he loved doing most…reporting the news’.
It got me wondering whether I’d like to go out doing what I love the most??
And despite what many of you are thinking right this second…that is NOT what I like doing the most, you sick fucks.
Strangely, it WAS what Michael Hutchence loved doing the most, although not many of his friends or family, upon hearing that he’d been found hanging from a hotel door-knob with a jar of Vaseline and a selection of pornographic magazines by his side, ever said ‘Michael died doing what he loved doing most…jerking off’.
How about you??
If you had to go, would you like to go doing what you loved doing the most…

36 comments:

Mex said...

sleeping.

actonb said...

Soaking in a bath, although Ive heard the hot water makes the blood flow slower...

WJ said...

kicking ass on my X Box

but seriously...

kicking ass on my X Box.

Actually, the sleeping one sounds good, cos I don't really like the feeling you probably get when having a heart attack or suffering a similar demise...

W said...

Peacefully in my sleep I think, which is an utter fucking cop out - but if forced to choose something more exciting: freezing to death.

fingers said...

Not to ruin the fun of planning your own suicide, Nac...but I thought we were discussing death by natural causes ??
Anyway surely the hot water would make the blood less viscous and more likely to flow from your wrists ??
Why not avoid unnecessary physical complications and just use the toaster...

actonb said...

You asked...
It's a euthanasia thing.
MrB's pop had cancer which went into remission. He also had a heart condition. He always said if the cancer came back he'd run up and down the stairs until he gave himself a heart attack.
His cancer came back. The morning after he found out he died of a massive heart attack...

fingers said...

Yes, well leaving aside the notional idea of euthanasia on the grounds that you're NOT ACTUALLY DYING OY ANYTHING JUST NOW, Nac...what is your favourite activity in the whole world ??
We'll try and work out whether you can happily kill yourself doing it, Chuckles...

actonb said...

The soaking in the bath thing was actually the correct answer.
Soaking, drinking wine and reading.
And trying not to think about tha guy - Crippen I think it was - who drowned all his wives...
Look. I'm having a crap day. Leave me alone.

fingers said...

So, under what circumstances could you conceivably perish in the bathtub, doing what you love doing the most ??
I suppose you could be hit by space debris...

Mex said...

you could combine soaking in the bath and sleeping and you could drown.

welcome to wallyworld said...

I'm gonna start another bloggie and call it "The Minge Guide".

Die doing what I love the most? I don't love anything "the most".

And Carlton? Absolutely bloody awful journo - should have been working for Murdoch. I couldn't stand to watch his predictable "reporting" or listen to his predictable delivery. Let's hope Munro is next.

actonb said...

Well it would be a combination of the soaking, the drinking, and the sleeping...

W said...

I changed my answer - and fingers, try for a six on this one okay?

Eating. A fantastic meal at an amazing restaurant with bloody good wine.

fingers said...

She choked on a Peking Duckbone, washed down with a cheeky NZ Sauv Blanc.
But at least she died doing what she loved doing the most.
Yep, I can see that...

fingers said...

And who could imagine a finer end for Frank, than being sucked into the turbine of an Airbus A380 while giving it a loving polish...

W said...

Atta boy.

WJ said...

sorry fingers, would he be giving the airbus the polish, or just getting carried away in the moment?

W said...

Heh. Soo bad wj.

WJ said...

hey, I never promised my material would be good...

actonb said...

hello mr fingers...
I've been thinking. Is facetiousness not allowed on your blog?

W said...

fingers, you never answered your own question.

So, how would you like to die? Doing what?

actonb said...

I have a friend who's an ambo, and his fave story of 'someone dying while doing what they love' involves a VERY large gentleman, who died while atop a very small asian prostitute. It took 6 hefty ambo guys to lift him off, while she's screaming 'i can't breathe, I can't breathe...'

fingers said...

WTF are you talking about, Nac ??
I'm a huge fan of facetiousness.
And sarcasm....so do your worst.
As for the other question, there's really nothing I'd LIKE to die doing. Certainly there's nothing I enjoy doing enough to warrant dying FOR, but I suppose if I had to die doing something, it's be at the blackjack table.
With my luck, it'd be right after doubling down successfully with my entire fortune on the table...

actonb said...

I think that says it all really...
Or I may have missed the point. It's happened before.
Are we doing what we love, and dying a painfree death at the same time?

fingers said...

No, the death might be painful, but you'd be dying doing something you loved doing.
Like, you know, if I keeled over while trying to explain this shit to a goose like you...

actonb said...

Well see, I'd kinda prefer the death to be pain-free, regardless of whether I was doing what I loved. Which kind of subverts the question... But I don't like pain.

fingers said...

Do you know anyone who does...

actonb said...

Lots of people, well not personally obviously, but I've heard about it.
And Garry thinks it's revolting. And abnormal. And Wrong.

fingers said...

Funny...I could just imagine you as the 'welcome mat' down at The Hellfire Club...

actonb said...

The Hellfire Club?

fingers said...

You really do need to get out more...

actonb said...

And you reckon I bite easily...

fingers said...

I don't think anyone who reads the text of a Federal Budget should be doing humour...

actonb said...

Good Point.
I can safely assume you've read more than me.

mushroom said...

last time i went to the hellfire club i came home in stitches......

Ms Smack said...

You are a funny funny man.