Thursday, May 18, 2006
the sleep of the dead...
Amongst the many things at which I’m absolute rubbish, sleeping would have to be right near the top of my personal tip. Between the hours spent tossing from side to side or staring at the ceiling mentally subtracting the amount of time it’s taking me to fall asleep from the total amount of time available for the purpose, the half-hourly awakenings, the Stephen King-directed dream sequences and the early risings, I get about 3 hours of useful slumber per night.
Given the general perception that too much sleep is never enough, or that getting the same amount of sleep as a tree-sloth seems to account for the youthful good looks of every supermodel ever questioned about the reasons for their stunning appearance, I decided to Google the subject and see whether I was at any kind of risk.
Well, along with all the dire warnings about this and that, I came across a very interesting statistic; 74% of all people who die do so in their sleep.
Not only that but 60% of all those fatalities occur between the hours of 4-00am and 6-00am, when the body’s most vital functions are at their lowest operating capacity.
DO YOU PEOPLE REALISE WHAT I’M SAYING ??
Sleeping is a very, very, very dangerous business!!!
How many other supposedly healthy, essential activities have a 74% mortality rate??
None…that’s how many.
So, in the light of this terrifying data, I will resume my nightly bouts of insomnia, with the added protection of a wake-up call at 4-00am each morning just to ensure that I’m vigilant during the most potentially lethal part of the day.
The way I see it, by keeping my sleep to the barest of minimums and avoiding the twin, deadly peak hours, I may not live to be 175 years old…but it’ll fucking well seem like it…