Thursday, June 01, 2006

BlogsR'Us...


So, you want to become part of the ‘non-information revolution’ and open your own blog but are chronically bereft of ideas or writing talent??
And by that, I mean even more chronically bereft of ideas or writing talent than people out there who DO actually have their own blog.
Why not let our team of professional wafflers here at ‘BlogsR’Us’ custom design and build a site specifically suited to your creative deficiencies??
In the last few weeks alone, ‘BlogsR’Us’ has created nearly a dozen, new, mind-numbing websites, any one of which would sap the will-to-live from even the hardiest optimist.
Take a look around our showroom, talk to one of our blog-consultants and choose the blog that’s right for your feeble capabilities.
For instance, if your stream of expertise as an author runs no deeper than the doodling of stick-men in crayon, you may want to consider an entry-level blog such as the award-winning ‘Mex’?? This DIY blog-kit is the cyber-equivalent of a pup-tent; cheap, nasty, easy to erect, simpler to maintain than a compost bin (although not nearly as entertaining)…and when you’ve finished polluting the internet with your poxy drivel, just roll the whole thing up and throw it away.
This is the perfect vehicle for any blogger whose autobiographical limits are tested by listing the contents of their handbag/wallet or describing the texture of their last vomit. If the creation of matter in the cores of supernovae doesn’t hold your interest but the sight of two flies having sex on the toilet seat keeps you transfixed for an hour, then look no further than the mighty ‘Mex’. It requires no complex punctuation other than the occasional ‘full-stop’, almost no use of the ‘upper case’ and has the highest plagiarism parameters of any blog-template in circulation, willingly gobbling up to 98% of other peoples’ work with its handy cut-and-paste facility.
Yes, the ‘Mex’ is the perfect way to say ‘I’ve got nothing to say, and I’m not ashamed to say it!!!’
Next week, I’ll be reviewing the ‘Mountjoy’…

22 comments:

W said...

Oh my.

This will be so much fun to watch.

WJ said...

yep.
I'm just going to slip into my rubber overalls so I'm ready when the shit starts to fly...

fingers said...

Gee, I can't thank you two enough for your active participation on this thread...

Mex said...

Game on moles...

W said...

Big fucking talk from a man who has a whopping four posts to his name...

Mex said...

im sitting here waiting for the stink... but its not happening.

bring on the biffo!

fingers said...

What a bunch of mincers.
How about one of you rushing in to defend Mex's honour so I can smack you on the nose with a wet newspaper...

Mex said...

clearly mex has no honour left to defend.

fingers said...

Well, you hardly lead by example in defending it yourself, slag bag...

W said...

See, but I know mex can stand up for herself. And she knows I have her back.

But really, she's so much better at it all than I, so I let the mesters battle it out. And enjoy.

fingers said...

Bollocks, Moose-pie...you're just being a lazy cow...

W said...

Moo.

Mex said...

this is the most placid blog-off ive ever seen...

fingers said...

'...im sitting here waiting for the stink... but its not happening...'
Try sitting with your legs further apart...

Mex said...

i dont need to, i can smell the stale urine emamanating our of your tena-lady from all the way over here...

welcome to wallyworld said...

Yeah? Except if you slag off my award-winning bloggie I'll just block your sorry arse. Cunt. And shouldn't it be "Blogs'R'us" - comme ça?

Very funny but too bloody short. Bit like you really. (mex told me to say that), your pal, Mal, who emails and rings and doesn't even get a reply. That's alright - you should see what I'm doing to you in my epic "A concise history of lurve".
For a guy with all the tea in China I wonder why you don't have high-speed Broadband and a state-of-the-fart 'puter and home and office? You're missing out on a lot using that Commodore 64 with dial-up.

welcome to wallyworld said...

Just testing my photo.

fingers said...

Oh, at last you've decided to visit my humble blog and repay some of the kindness I've lavished on you over the last 12 months ??
I keep the articles short because most of the readers are idiots with the attention span of a flatworm.
Apologies for the tardiness of my return phone call though; I will rectify that this week.
Love and kisses on all your pink bits, Mal...

fingers said...

Just checked my site-meter and found I have two international visitors.
Some cunt in France and a hick from The Deep South in The States...

welcome to wallyworld said...

What do you mean, dickbreath? I've kept up with everybody's blog. If you knew how to do a Trackback you'd see that.

Georgia said...

Anyone fancy joining me on the lead float in the Luddite Pride parade? I still take photos with film, I have a TV in my flat but I haven't yet worked out how to get any channels happening and I can't use my laptop until I can find an adapter that will make Aussie plugs work here...

fingers said...

You're so gross.
Why can't you just say 'tampons' like a nice chick...