Wednesday, August 09, 2006
use the right word...
There are some beautiful languages in the world, so it’s with great regret that I can only lay claim to speaking one of them fluently: English (I have a reasonable grasp of Japanese, though not enough to fool a native-speaker over the age of five.)
Each language seems to have a nuance of its own, as though specifically created for one particular aspect of life.
For instance, if one has to speak of love, what better language to do it in than French?? Practically everything sounds more romantic when spoken in French. What trout’s heart wouldn’t melt at the phrase ‘Fous le camps et morte !!!’ ?? So much classier than ‘Fuck off and die !!!’.
On the other hand, Italian is marvellous for angry confrontations, such as road rage incidents or domestic disputes. All those religiously inspired exhortations and all that arm-waving makes for utterly magnificent theatre. You don’t have to be Pavarotti to know that ‘Christo mia…vaffanculo !!!’ doesn’t mean ‘Would you like Pasrmesan with that…’
German would be my choice for discussing things of a mechanically technical nature due to its crisp, heartless pronunciation, combined with an ability to make one splendid word such as ‘honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepingersputtergefixer’ to describe someone who repairs cars.
When one talks of tragedy, other languages can only dream of conveying a sense of it with the sheer misery of Russian.
Haggling over the price of something should be done in Chinese.
English is perfect for addressing your servants.
Showing confusion or a lack of understanding is best done in Indian.
And all mindless threats of violence or bloody revenge should ALWAYS be issued in Arabic…