Monday, July 09, 2007

a community disservice announcement...


Over at ‘BimboWorld’, the ravishing and worldly Steph has whipped her adoring fans into a frenzy that promises to see many more potential rapists pepper-sprayed for daring to buy a chick a drink in a bar.
TWG supports this cause wholeheartedly.
For too long, the offer to purchase a cocktail has masqueraded as an act of generosity, gallantry, perhaps even innocent sociability, whereas in truth, at best it is nothing more than a well-calculated carnal bribe.
Add to this unspeakable evil the fact that in all likelihood it will be heavily laced with Rohypnol and the next ‘Mojito’ you down could well be a ‘Trojan Cocktail’, laying waste to your stoic Friday-night-defences and allowing an entire army of BMW-driving account directors into your pants…

31 comments:

phishez_rule said...

"For too long, the offer to purchase a cocktail has masqueraded as an act of generosity, gallantry, perhaps even innocent sociability"

Since when? Its always been a ploy to get into a chickies pink bits.

Yoffi said...

LOL - phishez - well said.

Never ever does a man folk out money for "generosity, gallantry" and most importantly never for "innocent sociability".

Men buy women things for one reason - it's a trade off. I buy you this and you'll talk to me, then maybe you'll give me your number. Then I'll buy you dinner and chocolate and flowers and all the rest of it.

And then maybe I'll get some.

Steph said...

I'll have an Appletini thanks.

cheers.

Ms Smack said...

If you want to convince us of this, mate, you might consider posting a real life example where you've bought a drink based on gallantry and not getting the pink sword wet.

it's the little things... said...

I've come up short at the grocery store cash register and not had the man behind me cough up .50 to help me out.
Hmmm.
Wonder if same man would have bought me a $7 margarita if we'd been in a bar?

Kelly said...

It masqueraded as innocent sociability? Really? When was that? I always thought it was more of a neon sign..."I want to get laid." While the girl was more "I'm going to laugh at you with my friends after we leave here." :-P Oh... those things we don't say...

jungle jane said...

I'll have the cock. The rest of you lot can share the tail...

mutleythedog said...

Down here a cider and a lager is a cocktail... I am launching a special blog competition with great prizes.. BLOG SMUT AWARDS!!

fingers said...

Nothing like setting a simple pot overnight, baiting it with something putrid, then coming in next morning to see what's climbed in...

Phishez: Well I guess it all started when one of your people handed one of my people a price list.

Yoffi: Loud call from someone whose blog is entitled 'Cash In Must Exceed Cash Out'. Now we know what you are we can get down to haggling over the price.

Steph: Would you like that in a glass or prefer to just lick it off my chest.

Smack: I'm working on something even as you sit on that high bar-horse of yours.

LT: It's not the $7 for the Marguerita that stings; it's the $30 for the Rohypnol that weighs heavily on our minds.

K: You assume my people are unaware of your people's cunning plan to spend your lives drinking for free. Keep watching this space, K.

JJ: Welcome back. Refreshingly slutty as always. Where have you been, darling. Tell Uncle Fingers everything.

Mutley: This blog is not to be used for cheap promotional stunts. It's for cheap sensational posts only...

electro-kevin said...

I wouldn't be interested in screwing a girl who was out of it. I like a woman who looks me in the eyes wantonly and fucks me right back. (I don't mean with a strap-on BTW)

fingers said...

What Kevin means is that he's a tight-ass bastard who's too cheap to buy you a drink...

WJ said...

Either that or he has one of those REALLY expensive dolls with the glass eyes and voice recordings...

phishez_rule said...

What? So its something like this

Drink = 5 minutes conversation
$3 = dirty make out session with groping
$10 = hand action
$12 = mouth action
$25 = sex
$50 = handcuffs, toys, etc.

I know I'm cheap. But I'm not easy.

Steph said...

Pour it into your belly button and give me a straw.

fingers said...

WJ: You can achieve the same focus and eye contact using a belt around their necks.

Phishez: I believe it was the great American philosopher/poet/mathematician Andrew Dice Clay who first postulated a link between the amount of money spent on a date and the number of fingers you could attempt to cram in her snatch during the good night kiss.

Steph: Idiot. That's for the coke...

Steph said...

I don't do Coke anymore. I like my nostrils the way they are.

fingers said...

Same with me, Steph.
I just main-line the shit these days.
Now, why don't you go set that nice Tom Gaylord up with your last blind date...

WJ said...

Steph, you will probably need a snorkel more than a straw...

fingers, ever since The Hutch did his final Dance of the One Belt, the whole timing issue with using leather trouser supporters as neck ties leaves me a little uneasy.

fingers said...

I'm sorry to hear that Micky Hutchence's tragic experience has closed off another avenue of pleasure for you, WJ...

WJ said...

And yet clearly that avenue is still open to you, so I salute that. Obviously your timing is better than mine, either that or you don't give a shit...

Ah....

it's the little things... said...

What? Drinks? Coke?
What did I miss here while I was watching The Shooter?
Either it's just that it's late here, or the bottle of wine, but I'm not following the convo.

Gnat of Glass said...

Buy randoms drinks is like giving money to a bum. Just without the "Hey thanks man!" at the end of the transaction.

Never do it, just shows you have no way of talking to them any other way. Now, getting a random girl to buy you a drink that is a skill.


Gnat.
.

Miss B said...

heh... my ex and i used to play a game when we were dating. i'd walk up to the bar where he'd be talking to his friends (who didn't know me) and the conversation would begin.
Me: hello... buy me a drink and i'll go home with you
him: what's your name?
me: names are unimportant
him: bartender!

fingers said...

LT: I'm not sure either. Apparently Steph likes to stick Coke bottles up her nose when she goes out and it's stretched her nostrils.

Gnat: I usually just buy the bums a drink rather than give them cash; it saves them the walk to the bottle-shop.

Miss B: Role-playing is fun. My ex used to lure chicks back to our place for some lezzo action, then as soon as they were at it I'd burst out of the closet wearing my Batman costume. Good times...

Tom Gaylord said...

i don't bother with drinks, i just head for the back room with my fly down and munch away on foreskins. mind you i am a whore

Yoffi said...

Ouch..."what you are"...harsh words.

Oh and that's what my accountant told me...cash in must exceed cash out.

Jin said...

.....so there I was, trawling through the usual blog comments & then I came upon: I'd burst out of the closet wearing my Batman costume. Good times...

Fingers, you've done it now. I won't be able to think straight for the rest of the day!!!

fingers said...

Yoffi: Nothing personal; it's an old gag. Just wondering if my last girlfriend is your accountant though; she used to say the same thing.

Jin: Smoke my batmobile...

fingers said...

Tom: Sorry mate, didn't see you there. Just when you needed a hug the most, too.
Life's a cunt...

The Ego said...

What a lil' girl-my comment suspiciously didn't appear.........You'll be sorry :)

fingers said...

Don't :) at me, Loon...