Thursday, September 27, 2007

if anyone needs me...


I'll be sitting in that chair for the next 10 days...

59 comments:

Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
phishez_rule said...

With a hot blonde straddling you perhaps?

Take sunscreen!

WJ said...

if you have a hot blonde, just keep her positioned so you are in her shade.

I'm not jealous fingers. Honest. I feel nothing but respect.

Steph said...

Have fun Uncle Fingers. You'll be missed.........well not really, I'm just being polite.

Kelly said...

Will we really notice you are gone? I mean... you rarely post anyway...

:-P

Betty Boob Hug said...

Don't drown in the pool is my only advice. Happy Holidays.

rackorf said...

No pissing in the pool you cunt.

danzer1986 said...

have fun

BottleBlonde said...

But who will finger my blog in your absence?

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Fingers...hurry, Kitty and I will be in the pool and we're not wearing our bikinis. She hawt and beautiful!

Be a sweet and bring us our martinis. What kind of cigarette is this? It kinda makes you feel funny, huh?

Off with the speedo babes...and jump in. It is a vacation after all. Relax.

Ha...I'll miss babes. Have fun and if you can't get a blonde to straddle you...just look at my high school year books...and please don't hurt yourself, okay.

Ciao

Spiky Zora Jones said...

BB...um. Who's going to finger your blog...oh? Well, if someone has to do it (raises hand)...pick me, me, me. Ha!

Kitty said...

Spiky! I wanted to finger BB's blog!!! Want to do it together? She hot. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaar.

Thursday's Child said...

Have a great time fingers. I am sure the harem can keep itself occupied in your abscence.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

HI BABY! What a pleasant surprise. Yeah...kitty, you...then me...then BB.

She hot...but I love you, baby.

Kitty said...

Fingers has arrived, he is in his leather gimp outfit and having a hoot.

I will push my laptop through the feeding slot into his dungeon from time to time, so you can all get fingered a bit. For joy.

Miss Smack said...

hahahaa - do continue your story!!

BottleBlonde said...

I'm all yours Spiky and Kitty. Now lemme just unfasten this chastity belt ...

Josh said...

Just remember, Slip, Slop, Slap....and I am not talking about sunscreen.

phishez_rule said...

Josh you're a filthy cunt! You're wasting the good smut on this blog. Keep it our private conversations please.

electro-kevin said...

Are the railings to keep you in or the babes out ? Have a nice time, Fingers.

Miss Smack said...

Enjoy the trip, mate x

UBERMOUTH said...

Try REAL hard not to drown.I would hate to lose you!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hey Fingers...I came by to pick up my Porn mags, um I mean, my high school year books, but you're still not back.

Hey it looks like a really big dog or elephant poo'd on your yard. I side stepped it. That was a close one, whew. I hope you don't step on it when you get back. Not a good way to end a fab vacay, you know.

Ciao babes.

OneHungMan said...

Life is rough, isn't it?

mutleythedog said...

Will you have to move for a piss?

itisthelittlethings said...

I miss you! Come back soon!

Mone said...

you are sooo lucky! Have fun sitting in the morning sun :)

phishez_rule said...

Seems Fingers can't count. Its been more than 10 days? Or was the hot blonde's vadge that loose that you got stuck in there, possibly forever?

Hmm. I wouldn't even complain about a death like that.

Kitty said...

He is still on the wagon wheel Phishie.

He screaming for moooore.

~Miss Smack said...

I MISS YOU TOO! Where the fuck are ya?

fingers said...

Hi Kids...I'm back.
I know alot of people get relaxed on holidays, returning mellow and full of goodwill...but not me.
I'm just black-tanned and mean now...like Evander Holyfield.
So, what have you cunts been up to; lets have a look, shall we...

Kitty: Appreciate all the blog-war update texts while I was gone. I don't have a 3-G mobile, so all those vadge-shots are waiting for me at the Optus Collection Centre.

Phish: The bitch wouldn't get off me. I've got ass-shaped tan-lines on my thighs.

WJ: I thought I would have her read to me as well but being a blonde she couldn't read.

Steph: Speaking of blondes. Just kidding.....well not really, I'm just being rude.

Kelly: Well I'm back now, moron. I bet you notice that in the next day or two. Glad to see they didn't accidentally make you any brighter while they were operating.

BBH: Don't get a job writing slogans for a greeting card company is my only advice back.

Rack: No swimming in the toilet then, fucko.

Danzer: Thanks very much. Who the fuck are you ?? Best I go have a look. Christ you're a hot lesbian. Welcome aboard. As an introductory gift allow me to throw someone of your choosing off my blog.

BB: Darling, you're utterly fucked with or without my help.

Spiky: You left your stooopid tin-foil bikinis on the pool fence and they started a bushfire, you silly cunts. As a penalty I need you and Kitty to do some lezzing and let me watch.

TC: I'd recruit you into the harem but you'd have to take an IQ-cut. Seemed to work for Kelly though.

Spiky and Kitty and BB: Is that the ocean I can smell or are you three doing it without me again ??

Josh: Fair enough. Then what the fuck WERE you talking about ??

Phish: Did you ever return Uber's blog after you borrowed it ??

E-K: I prefer the natural method of keeping chicks away; using my personality.

Smack: Thanks mate. Nice to see you back blogging too. It must have been a difficult choice to cave in and dump your entire belief system like that.

Uber: Hello darling. I was just about to reverse your life ban when 'Danzer' chose you for the eviction. Tough break.

Spiky: I know. I forgot to take the 'El├ęGuard' again.

OneHung: It's rougher than you know. Brittney Spears rented the place next to mine and kept coming over to ask whether I could see her camel-toe through her bikini bottoms. The stooopid drug-fucked cunt wasn't even wearing any.

Mutley: No. I have an assistant that let's me piss in her mouth and she spits it over the railing into Brittney's place.

LT: Hi baby. I'm back now. Are we rich yet ??

Mone: I WAS sitting in the morning sun...then I was sitting when the evening's done. Just watching the ships roll in. Then I'd watch them roll away again.

Phish: I forgot to thank you being my assistant these last 10 days.

Kitty; Phish is busy spitting just now. I'll give her your message though.

Smack: I'm back. And now you're all in trouble...

Kitty said...

When you told me you forget to take that CD you made of all my labia shots with you for spank material, I just assumed you would be able to receive them via mobile as you are such a festering old pervert. Geeez Grandpa, upgrade your shit and get with the youngsters. STAT.

itisthelittlethings said...

Yeah Kitty, he mentioned something about a new laptop though. Maybe he wasn't referring to the type of laptop I assumed?

phishez_rule said...

You should forget to assign me as you wing cunt more often. Instead of being a figurative fucking whore, I ended up being a literal fucking whore.

Oh yeah, you missed the post where phishy dusted away the cobwebs! And no snarky comment from you in sight...

phishez_rule said...

BTW. I don't spit. Not even old man spunk. That would be a waste.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Fingers...I don't mean to be a cunt...just cause it comes easy, youknow. hehehe.

Anyway You said you were going to be gone like ten days...Sweetie it was like more.
Here's a suggestion....cause I'm like rude bitchy cunt ready to have my F'ing period...but next time use the fingers on your hand to count the days away. Ther's is like ten, right? ha...

Nice to have you back baby. I was going to give you some cause I missed you and like I'm a hornbag, but you know how it is with the monthly visitor thingy.

What? No...I'm not talking about the Fleet anchored in the harbor.

Babes...really it's nice to see your back. Kitty, BB and I missed you in the pool, but the pool guys occupied us.

Ciao baby.

UBERMOUTH said...

I am heartbroken! That you actually returned ALIVE!If it bothers oyu so much I am here then I shall keep coming.

Kitty said...

Phish- I think the dirty bastard was referring to pissing in your mouth petal you spitting over the fence into Britney's yard. As punishment he will be getting NO NIPPLE CLAMPS on his Christmas visit to my dungeon which is built underneath my secret lair.

P.S. Britney's beaver is on my site cause I am a classy bitch.

fingers said...

Kitty: Do you need that CD back ?? I assume you'll need it if you ever have to do a CV again.

LT: How many times have I told you: let me do the comedy and you do the heart-wrenching true stories.

Phish: Onya baby. So if my maths is correct, you're 1-for-2007. We should issue a commemorative stamp in honour of the event.

Spiky: I didn't realise lesbians got periods. Gosh, there's so much I still need to learn despite all the videos I've watched.

Uber: Can you at least wear your name tags so we know which Uber is visiting us.

Kitty: Phish may be a dumb bitch but she can hold 2 litres of piss in her mouth, which makes her OK in my books...

Kitty said...

That's fine you keep it. But seriously you'll lick a hole into the screen if you keep that shit up Fingers. Stop it.

phishez_rule said...

Haha. Your maths is wrong! You forgot to factor in repeat performances!

Madam Z said...

Oh, my goodness! You guys should really try to shed some of your inhibitions.

danzer1986 said...

haha i just had to say that comment u left on shrinking kitty site was hilarious,.. pink stick

haha
**smooches**

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Videos...what videos?

How did you get hold of my videos? You didn't talk kitty into handing them over, did you? Or was it BB that gave them up...Phish or Steph? No!

Don't tell me bought them at the Porn store...cause like there on the net for free. Just google Paris Vids...Spiky Vids. No need to pay hard earned cash, sweetie.

Ciao babes.

UBERMOUTH said...

HOw /bout the one who would NEVER smoke your 5" bat?

Kitty said...

Um, Uber baby his 5" bat is not available to smoke just now anyhow.

It mine.

Kelly said...

I am smarter with the boobs! I get free drinks now bitch! I think that is called financial planning...

Kylie said...

So the trial run at the old folks home was sweet? When you moving in? Do you have to wait for a resident to cark it first?

phishez_rule said...

Nah Kylie, he'd murder someone just to get in. It'd be an ego boost. Make him feel younger.

fingers said...

Kitty: That would be some CV/CD baby. Especially if you ever apply for a job as an ATM at the sperm bank.

Phish: Repeats don't count. Everyone knows that,

Z: Well hello new letter of the alphabet. Feel free to roam around the place but don't feed any of my animals or they will try to hump your leg.

Danzer: You little minx. Smooches from a 21 year old Carribean lesbian. I could die a happy blogger now.

Spiky: I Googled 'Spiky Vids' and found a doumentary on porcupines.

Uber: You''re like the antidote for 21 year old Carribean lesbians.

Kelly: Darling, you are a boob.

Kylie: No, I'll just send them over to Kelly's blog for 'Thursday 13' and hopefully they'll bore themselves to death.

Phish: My growing harem of flaming lesbians keeps me young. We'll turn you yet, you uptight byatch...

it's the little things... said...

Since you've returned, isn't it time for a new post? Just sayin'....

Kelly said...

snore. no need to send them elsewhere... you can bore them to death here just fine...

snore.

and tell your mom to clean my vibe off before putting it in the drawer. It had your dad's poo still on it!

~Miss Smack said...

OMG KELLY haaaaaaaaahahahah

Kitty said...

Kelly- wow! that is a bit much petal. i glad i not you when fingers sees that...

fingers said...

Kelly: That was rather vile and crude, without being funny at all. You're banned for 1 post.

Smack: I'm embarrassed for you. 1 post ban.

The only way either of you filthy trashbags can avoid the ban is to write out 10 times 'I am a filthy trashbag' and post it below...

Steph said...

LMAO! Dirty Uncle Fingers was PAWNED! on his own blog!!

Kelly, I like your moxie. You can join the Supertards anyday girlfriend!

Kitty said...

Does it look like I dobbed?

I didn't! I fucking DID NOT.

~Miss Smack said...

oh its STILL FUNNY the second time i read it........ hahahahahahahaah

Kelly said...

fine I will just comment here. I fear I may have the same addiction. What group do you go to? Can I join?

Thanks to all my fans.

**bow**

Dirty Uncle Fingers

Are you mad that I told everyone that you mom doesn't clean well?