Sunday, September 23, 2007

these are wingnuts...


And so are these...
By now, most of you are probably aware of the tremendous shit-fight going on between two certain chick-bloggers out there. It’s bitch-eat-bitch, a no-holds-barred cyber-jelly-wrestle…sadly minus the jelly (unless you count what’s passing for their brains at the moment).
In one corner, wearing the blonde hair extensions and carrying a large martini, I give you ‘Steph’; the most innocuous, guileless, agenda-less diarist in The Realm.
In the other corner, wearing the grotesque mask and apparently flush out of mood-enhancers, may I present ‘Shelley’: the newest fruit-bat hanging from The Blog Tree.
Our guest referees at ringside are ‘Uber (No Loony Bin Can Hold Me) Mouth’, ‘Miss (This Has Nothing To Do With Me But I’ll Get Involved Anyway) Smack’ and ‘The (You Live In My Head) Troll’.
At the heart of the hair-pulling is a well-reasoned allegation put forward by ‘Shelley’ which, if my take on things is correct, suggests that ‘Steph’s’ stupendously voluminous-yet-vacuous blog is nothing more than an elaborate Trojan Horse, used either by her or her even-more-vacuous-if-it-can-be-believed commenters to hack into an even MORE underwhelmingly dreary blog…namely that of ‘Shelley’s’ herself.
Presumably this ingenious cover also includes a further ‘red herring’; the diabolically stupefying ‘Big Brother’ blog which ‘Steph’ slavers over like a drooling baboon, daily for 4 months of the year.
Not to be outdone on the Idiot-Meter though, ‘Steph’ has countered with threats of bringing in a high-priced legal team to look at possible issues of libel and defamation. This poses the litigiously novel contention that one fictitious entity can ruin the reputation of another fictitious entity, which almost certainly has potential ramifications for ’Superman’ if he ever thinks of calling ‘Superwoman’ a paranoid-delusional supercunt.
No doubt ‘Steph’ will be happy to claim damages in special invisible money should this jurisprudential wonder ever fly…

52 comments:

Kitty said...

You just tore my knickers clean off me with that one.

surfercam said...

Yeah I stumbled upon WWIII this morning.
I think we should just put them in a glass room full of baby-oil and let them go at it.
It will be fun for us at least....

Betty Boob Hug said...

I think Steph has had enough of it all from the sounds of it and I'm sure she's gonna thank you from the bottom of her heart for bringing it to her attention again. Not!

fingers said...

Kitty: Your knickers come off like a Moto GP rider's disposable visor-protectors.

Surfy: Are you sure you're not the evil genius behind all this ??

Betty: In my position as a bipartisan cunt, I can't be seen to favour anyone. Not even Kevin...

Miss Smack said...

I know I know........I don't care if people say they're dying, I don't care if people say they're banging their nanna, I simply DON'T CARE ANYMORE, and will never ever offer a listening ear to any motherfucker on the net ever again.

rackorf said...

heh - yeh there are some strange cunts out there.

Kelly said...

I admit it. It was my fault. I had never visited her site before in my life... but all her information was emailed to be... from YOU actually... so I used it.

I didn't want that shit going to waste. And I thought... hey... why not?

(This is all a joke. I am not suing myself for defamation either.)

Steph... laugh about it!! Fucking nutbags are fantastic entertainment! Just look at my blog! :-) (yes... I just said I was nutbag... and fantastic entertainment. Color me a self important psycho)

it's the little things... said...

Can someone please explain the point of 'hacking' a blog? If this was about hacking a lover, or hacking a promotion in your office cubicle I might understand, but probably still won't find it terribly interesting.

But hacking a blog? I mean, who really cares to waste their time doing that?

OneHungMan said...

OneHung (shaking his head in confusion) is really pissed off because Miss Smack is totally hot and she's possibly leaving us. That's bullshit.

Kitty said...

Onehung- agreeing baby. She hot.

Miss Smack - you fibber! i would cut off your (very sexy) ear and mail it to me if i needed a listening ear.

why? cause you nice laydeeeee!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Babes...yah are mah hero. Honey, ah would share ah bag full of bread sticks with yah. You babe...you.

Um...this is awesome. Is this like, you stupid bitches (cunts) really need professional help...leave Steph alone?

Okay, just to be silly.
Question: How many psychiatrist does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

Wot! Jeez, this is a hard room to get laughs. It did great at the Shrink-con in Vegas. Ha!

Ciao Fingers.

fingers said...

Smack: I bet it's Mountjoy who's banging his Nanna, isn't it ??

Rack: Incredible to think the nuts would find refuge in something like blogging, eh.

Kelly: I believe Rackorf was talking to you, baby.

LT: I bet your idea of hacking a lover is different to mine.

OneHung: She's not leaving. No one leaves The Firm.

Kitty: Any particular reason you're replying to comments individually on MY blog ??

Spiky: Are you on the right thread ?? And speaking of threads, I think some of yours are loose. Did you see Kitty at the shrink-con by any chance...

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Sorry babes...It's Monday for me and I've not had lunch...and it's 5 fucken twenty eight in the PM. My sugar level took a dive. In between keeping this corporation stock climbing, I had a reading at the one of the studios. The farker wanted to do a casting couch interview. You know it was about F'ing time, finally!

What? Me shuddup! What kind of whine Guide are you?

Ha...fingers, you still my hero.

Yeah...next time we go to the Shrink-Con In Vegas...you want to join us. You can stay with us in our room. It only has one big bed though, think about it.

Ciao.

fingers said...

Count me in, Spiky.
I'll even borrow one of Kelly's ludicrous illnesses to get a bait to the convention...

BottleBlonde said...

You had me gasping for air, Fingers. I'm pretty certain I burned off 69 calories just laughing at this post.

Spiky, the fat chick in the back of the room laughed (me). Though you couldn't hear it due to the unraveling of the candy wrappers.

Steph said...

I'm not a character or an entity and funnily enough, i seem to have lost my sense of humour over the whole dealio.

Josh said...

A cyber-jelly-wrestle, I am amazed that Kitty is not in there somewhere...

I have to ask why did you have to go and bring Superman into it?

Honestly, it is just not cool to question the reputation of the steel dude with the sock in his codpiece.

Kitty said...

i'm trying to tune PUSSY, you FOOL.

Kitty said...

Fingers.....leave spiky alone please. that MINE.

fingers said...

BB: At last, you're here. OK, now we can get this meeting started.

Steph: Well if you're not going to give us a giggle, get your fucking bongos out, byatch.

Josh: Um, coz he's a fictitious character, Super Goose.

Kitty: In case you didn't notice, I just hauled Bottle Blonde on deck for you. Get the gutting knife out and stop your whinging...

Kitty said...

oooooh! me first *elbow* out of the way old man!

surfercam said...

True, Fingers, I am evil and I am a genius, but no definitely not behind all this because :

(a) I really like Steph
(b) I really like Miss Smack.
(c) Have no idea how to do whatever it was that was done to their sites.
(d) I have a life.

Tom Gaylord said...

lol oh dear I leave the blogging world and all hell breaks loose. I'm more convinced than ever that I am equilibrium itself.

How's it goin fingers?!

rackorf said...

Well I was going to post a witty comment on the topic, but got distracted by whatever the fuck that picture above is of....

So this will have to do...

I wonder how many psychos in blog land could be enticed to join cults - like the one I may have to set up. All they'd have to do is send me money or hot sheilas, or maybe just top themselves - or else I'll see to it that someone fucken hacks their blog, the cunts.

UBERMOUTH said...

First of all Mister- you are the biggest nutter here. Second, how did I getdragged into this? I know nothing about blog hijacks except that psycho who stole mine.........and I am not refereeing anything- i simply offered to be someone's solicitor and I don't much care who.'Cept not yours!

BottleBlonde said...

Simmer down, kids. There's PLENTY of BB vagina to go 'round.

electro-kevin said...

Great post, Fingers.

Will we be seeing your cock on Steph's blog ? I need an image more meaningful than a finger to salute to.

Puts things into perspective really well.

(really sucks that we're losing Smacky)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Kitty, you kill me. Baby, you know I'm yours. I'll always be your bitch.

Fingers...you know this was funny. I about pea'd my panties with this...comment from my sweet, sweet kitty.
oooooh! me first *elbow* out of the way old man!

BB...you're hot. You can be my candy unwrapped any day.

Fingers...yeah, yeah, I know, stop trying to tune the pussy on your turf. But they is hot fingers, Hot like the sun, babes.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Well first off, the heels would kill you. The bra would do nothing for you, but you might just enjoy the black thong panty and tight skirt. Ciao babes...smooch.

Kitty said...

1. I love Spiky she is my absolute dream woman.

2. I thought Uber was banned for life?

fingers said...

Surfy: I thought you'd just flat out confess your guilt after I asked the question.

Tom: Yes, you're the rock on which Blogger is founded, you big rock-sucker.

Rack: The picture is of a pair of wingnuts, Wombat. It even said so. If you're going to start your own religion, you must allow your followers to have sex with their cousins if they're good-looking. That's what most people want.

Uber: Fuck. I must ring Blogger and tell them my 'CUNTGUARD' is down again.

BB: I always thought Gretel Kileen would be the first person to utter that phrase.

E-K: Thanks mate. Apparently some of Steph's admirers didn't see the humour in the post; the cabbages.

Spiky: Get your tongue out of Kitty's snatch.

Kitty: Get your snatch off Spiky's tongue...

PS...Kitty, even though you are a sizzling lezzo whorebag...no one likes a tattle-tail...

Kitty said...

fingers- i'm not a tattle tail!

i'm a fucking DOBBER. cunt!

fingers said...

That explains the little dob on your moustache then...

rackorf said...

Well I did say that the post picture above the last put me off somewhat.(what the fuck is that anyway?) Good tip about the cousins - mind you, here in deliverance country some of the locals tend to enjoy rather closer rellies. Makes for some interesting offspring and adds a new dimension to relative humidity in the summer.

UBERMOUTH said...

Well if they let YOU in then clearly there are NO standards, so stop whining like a flouncy big girl's blouse.

UBERMOUTH said...

OH yeah... AND smoke my 7 inch bat biatch!

Mountjoy said...

No, it was your Nana fingers:

She was giving me shit about having a smaller cock than you, but when she took her teeth out and got to work, I didn't give a shit.

I would have gone around the world too, but the sight of the old bitch's incontinence pad made me go limp.

That was why I needed Smack's advice - that sort of thing had never stopped me before.

fingers said...

Rack: I'm sure most of your neighbours' parents met at a family reunion.

Uber: Didn't I fire you a while back, Costanza ??

Mountjoy: My Nana's been dead for 20 years. We wondered why the earth around her plot kept getting disturbed...

it's the little things... said...

Isn't it time for your vacation yet?

Mountjoy said...

This was back when I was 18, dumb-ass.

fingers said...

That explains how she got syphillis at the age of 62 then...

Kitty said...

fingers is that where you picked it up poppet? i got the test, i didn't catch it off you. seems the gimp suit was the best thing i could have insisted on for that week you spent in my dungeon.

are you telling people you are vacationing again? that can only mean one thing. i shall dust of the wagon wheel and get the nipple claps oiled and expect to see you soon.

Betty Boob Hug said...

fingers and mountjoy - I can see you dirty bastards snivelling away together in a corner of a pub telling Nanna jokes. Funny but...

it's the little things... said...

What? So Kitty's basement has an ocean view? Us Americans are SO gullible...

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Kitty...hi baby...I miss you.

Kitty...Wha-hey, you never mentioned you had nipple clamps. I just love them. Oh...hey, is the power current from a car battery?

Fingers..that's a vacay babes, but read the instructions that come with that gadget. "Please wear an adult diaper." Yeah, that's the warm and squishy feeling they guarantee...ciao babes, XX.

BottleBlonde said...

The heat between Kitty and Spiky is burning a hole in my granny panties.

Kitty said...

Little Things - I tacked a beach scene poster to the wall. That is what he looks out when he.... you know.

fingers said...

Kitty: Stick the car up your ass this time. I'd like to 'Crack a Cat'.

BBH: Mountjoy only comes over here when scores 3 consecutive doughnuts in his comment section.

LT; It's actually a poster on the wall, apparently.

Spiky: The power is connected to her treddy and you should see that bytch run. She's like The Six Million Dollar Slut.

BB: What's with the new Zorro-mask over at CoaBB ??

Kitty; Shut the fuck up and run Kitty run...

BottleBlonde said...

The mask protects my eyes from the glare that emanates off my shiny rack.

itisthelittlethings said...

Oh God Kitty now I'm picturing him 'you know'. Help! I need another image STAT!

Les Miserable said...

I didn't get past "I bet its Mountjoy who's banging his Nanna" :-)
Hey any of you saps want to make some good dosh from your crap blogs? Subscribe to my list on Welcome to Fucking Wallyworld and I'll show you how - its taken me two years to get this right. BTW I just got an email from Honey Smack (guess you lot did too) - that's a great idea. Pity the fucking hyperlink didn't work though. But I loved the part where she said "Malkie I truly think you were the best shag I've ever had (not including the Alsation)" - and for all you sickos out there she's talking about a guy from Alsace.
Keep it coming, fingers. I do wish you would post more often. Up your bum, Malkie, Paris.

Les Miserable said...

Pity the fucking hyperlink didn't work.

Kitty said...

Little Things - uuuuum, how about you picture him trussed up in a gimp outfit with a bright red ball gag in his gob?!?!?!

At least he wouldn't be able to whine about everything hey babes???

;P