Monday, October 15, 2007

on the kouch with kitty kat...



It turns out that one of my favourite commenters is currently being treated for sex-addiction (SA). Personally, I find the affliction, with all its attendant faux-sluttiness, an enormous part of her charm but hey…
Anyway, I got to thinking; what sort of treatment do these hapless tragics receive?? Sex-addicts are shunned as malingerers by society for the most part, victims of a non-disease that just about everyone else seems to suffer in silent dignity. Of course, pieces of celebrity shit such as Michael Douglas have turned SA into little more than a doctor’s note absolving serial philanderers from their marital crimes.

So, in the interest of raising public awareness of SA, and with the permission of my friend Kitty, I’d like to reconstruct, from official notes, her initial consultation with her old shrink: Dishy Therapist.

Kitty: 'Hi there Doc, I think I’m addicted to sex?’
DT: ‘And what seems to be the problem?’
Kitty: ‘I really, really love sex. I love doing it, thinking about it, talking about it…anything to do with it.’
DT: ‘And what seems to be the problem?’
Kitty: ‘I’m obsessed with it. I fantasize about men, women, groups, toys…I flip myself off at least five times a day.’
DT: ‘And what seems to be the problem?’
Kitty: ‘I watch porn and post pictures of myself in my underwear on my blog.’
DT: ‘And what seems to be the problem?’
Kitty: ‘I have lesbian affairs with young mothers at my kid’s day care centre.’
DT: ‘And what seems to be the problem?’
Kitty: ‘Look, I need help. Are you going to treat this problem or not?’
DT: ‘Yes, of course. Please get undressed and lie down on that couch.’
Kitty: ‘Fuck me…I thought you’d never ask…’

PS...I had to break into DT's office and steal the photo from his filing cabinet...

29 comments:

Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AKG said...

Oooooooh
Hot pic, my likes.
You should post more of them.


Immediately

I'm just saying

Betty Boob Hug said...

Kitty girl, if I had HALF your sex drive I think I'd be a lot more fun to be around ;)

Seriously though, addiction is unhealthy and I hope you work through it all. But wanna swap addictions?
Mine is macadamia nut icecream. At least yours burn calories!

Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~Miss Smack said...

Hot DAYUM, that photo is smoking and the post is a bit of alright too ! :)

rackorf said...

Can I order a couple of them from here??

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Fingers...saw the pick of my kitty...doesn't she sparkle brightly.

I have no idea what your post said...um, couldn't get past the pic.

ciao baby.

OneHungMan said...

SA is obviously a gender-specific disorder, as evidenced by Dr. Hotrocket's continued response of "what seems to be the matter?"

it's the little things... said...

Boo! When did Kitty's blog become closed? Let me in!
Oh, hi Fingers!

BottleBlonde said...

... what sort of treatment do these hapless tragics receive??

Facial treatments, I would imagine.

fingers said...

Kitty: What's it like being naked on someone else's blog for a change ?? Glamorous, eh ??

AKG: Glad you enjoyed the article, plonker.

BBH: Glad you enjoyed the article, plonker.

Smack: Glad you enjoyed the article (really), plonker.

Rack: Glad you enjoyed the article, fucko.

Spiky: Your honesty does nothing for my authorial self-esteem.

OH: I certainly hope so, otherwise the whole post falls a bit flat, Grouhco.

LT: Glad you enjoyed the article, plonker.

BB: Got any nudie-shots you'd like me to immortalize you with...

Betty Boob Hug said...

there was an article that went with the photo?

Kitty said...
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Kitty said...
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itisthelittlethings said...

Will you be posting pics of you meeting Kitty during her visit to Cunt Point?

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hi fingers...what's up babes? Hum...I thought so. It's not nice to point babes.

Are you glad to see me or is that pic of my baby still on your mind.

My kitty is hot and I so want.

Wot? ah...no, I haven't read what you've written cause I still can't get past my baby's hot pussy pic.
You know, I'm a horn bag with the hots for kitty...But I'm sure it was like real awesome and smart like written. Ha...

Fingers...actually this is an awesome post. You funny babes, now please "At-Ease." That thing is loaded and just might go off with the slightest slip of the fin...ger...see, I told yah.

Ciao honey.

Effortlessly Average said...

And that's the best one he had? Damn, what a shocking lack of creativity!

Kelly said...

Am I banned for the length your one post stays posted, or for a normal posts length of time? Cause that would be... like... forever.


ps. kitty nice tattoo. ;-)

Kitty said...
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Thursday's Child said...

Now I really need to know: Will there be a kitty/fingers meet up in Cunt Point this weekend?

If so, happy to be a fly/moth on the wall.

EmmaK said...

I'm a sex addict too but I'm too lazy to flip myself off five times a day. I did try but I got arrested in Starbucks trying to stuff a scone up my snatch, and you try playing with a dildo while driving a car. Do I have your sympathies too?

fingers said...

BBH: No...apparently not. I don't know why I even bother sometimes.

Kitty: I'd never forget any chick with a 20-bat-a-day habit.

LT: She won't make it past the style-check boom gate with those purple nails.

Spiky: That's OK baby. I didn't read your last post either. I was too busy looking at the pic on my blog.

EA: I believe he sold the others to 'Shrink's Wives' magazine.

Kelly: Nice to see you up and around and making your usual lack of sense so soon after brain surgery.

Kitty: If you come within 500 metres of CP, I shall instruct my falcon to intercept you in a painful way.

TC: MYOB...

EmmaK: Yes, you have my sympathy. Can I have your scone...

Steph said...

Hrmm, still starved for blog fodder I see, have to use hawt Kitty's pic to update?

Lazy arse fucker. How about a pic of you nekkid on the couch? We can airbrush out the wrinkles if you like.

On second thoughts.........more pics of Kitty would be better.

fingers said...

Steph: Go shampoo your carpet, you rude byatch...

Kitty said...
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fingers said...

A Cadillac to work out of on those rainy Victorian nights...

Kitty said...
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Betty Boob Hug said...

sometimes I think I should be offering coin or at least one of my blonde haired babies for the laughs and entertainment these comment sections on fingers blog gives me.

better fun than any posts he does, hahah! :)

BottleBlonde said...

No, but I DO have a gem of a photo of me clad in only granny panties and bright orange crocs.

KIDDING, of course. I would never subject my granny panties to those hideous shoes.