At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old cunt…has anyone seen the list of subjects that made up the 2008 HSC curriculum this year ??
For overseas readers, ‘HSC’ (Higher School Certificate) is the leaving examination for all school students in New South Wales, scores in which go a long way to determining placements in universities and technical colleges.
Let’s start with some of the sillier languages now studied…and the students allowed to ‘study’ these ‘languages’…
Would it surprise anyone to learn that Emineh Shahmoradian topped the state in Armenian, Anke Vermuelen in Dutch, Jaksanwal Kathpal in Hindi, Milan Mitrevski in Macedonian, Saeed Arjomand Bigdeli in Persian, Chrisanthi Karunainathan in Tamil or Thomas Erik Holstrom in Swedish ??
Hmmm…unfair advantage much…
But wait, there’s more…because not only do these presumably native-speakers get a free swing at 2/3 units of education, they’re undoubtedly also eligible to sit for the prestigious ‘English As A Second Language’ course, which is the educational equivalent of the Paralympics or women’s golf.
OK, I don’t want to be accused of bashing foreigners, which most certainly isn’t the intent here…so let’s move onto the meatier courses.
It’s just a shame there isn’t ‘Sort-Of-Maths As An Alternate Means Of Counting To Combat Inherited Stupidity’ or ‘Science For Anyone Whose Religious Beliefs Mean They Prefer Fairy Tales To Difficult Theories and Equations’.
As a taxpayer I’m thrilled to be allowed to subsidize the continued study of Cosmology, Dance, Food Technology, Design and Textiles…to which I’d like added Astrology, Karaoke, Sun-baking, Cigarette-Rolling and Shopping.
There were apparently stiff examinations in Tourism, Personal Development, Hospitality and most importantly Entertainment Industry, all of which were hopefully held in rooms down at ‘Centrelink’ to provide the students/future long-term unemployed with an authentic application-completing experience.
Strangely, important subjects such as Celebrity Trivia, Boganism, Facebook Protocol and SMS Acronyms went untaught this year…