Sunday, June 06, 2010
the world cup...and its world saucer...
Unless you follow soccer, which I most decidedly DON’T, the make-up of the eight four-team groups in the upcoming World Cup is a bit of a mystery…and to be honest I’m happy for it to remain so.
But as this gigantically boring snooze-fest draws closer, one of the questions you hear asked most often is ‘Hey which teams are in our group ??’
So, on your behalf I’ve written to FIFA and asked them to re-assign the thirty-two combatants in this year’s competition, combine them in groups that make logical sense and give them names that are easy to remember.
Here are the new official groupings:
Group 1: The WW2 Reunion Party… England, Germany, United States, Japan.
Group 2: The European Economic Bailout Brigade… Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal.
Group 3: The Worthless Sovereign Bond Society… Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil, Chile.
Group 4: The World Vision Project… Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon, Ivory Coast.
Group 5: The Drug Cartel… Mexico, Honduras, Uruguay, Netherlands.
Group 6: The Terrorist Cell… Algeria, Serbia, Slovenia, North Korea.
Group 7: The Utter Utter Cunts Club… Denmark, Switzerland, France, South Africa.
Group 8: The Punching Bags… South Korea, Australia, New Zealand, Slovakia.